4 Things That Help Me Understand My Husband Better

Marriage is full of ups and downs. At times it seems like there are more downs than ups. I’ve come to realize that having a lifelong relationship with my husband means getting to know him beneath the surface. Every year of marriage peels back another layer of what you thought you knew.

Here are 4 things I’ve learned to accept about my husband:

He Isn’t My Girlfriend

Don’t get me wrong,  he is my best friend and I love sharing life with him. However he does not want to hear every little detail of my day.

He does not care what everyone was wearing at the last event I attended, nor does he want to follow my boards on Pinterest.

He’s my man and there’s a reason why I have girlfriends to share those types of things with.

We Parent Differently & That’s Okay

Our roles are different. I can’t expect him to nurture & love the way I do.  That means not intervening when he’s raising his voice at the kids or telling him how to load the dishwasher.

Sometimes I need to take a hands off approach and let him parent the way he knows how-without my help.

The Way We Express Love For Each Other Is Different

Let’s face it. Most men’s love language is physical touch. As I’ve gotten older and had children, mine has changed from quality time to acts of service. I can’t expect him to want to be loved the same way I do. When we got married, I signed up to meet his needs just as much as he signed up to meet mine.

On occasion, I get mad when my efforts aren’t what he needs. But if I really stop and think about it, would I want him to meet my needs with the same attitude?

He Doesn’t Read My Mind

If I ask him to do something for me, but I don’t say I need it done now, he won’t know I mean right now.

Sometimes when we get into arguments, it’s because I expected him to read my mind. We’ve been married for 7 years and together for 3. Even though we’ve spent almost a decade together, expecting him to read my mind is an impossible task that no one can live up to.

The longer we are married, the more I realize that it takes real work to stay connected and weather life’s storms together. Children, work & life can change the whole dynamic of marriage.

Taking the time to understand my husband makes loving him a little bit easier.

_____________

Want to share your stories? Sign up to become a Spoke contributor!

Diedre Anthony

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Diedre Anthony is a full time school counselor, mother and wife.  In her blog Are Those Your Kids, she documents raising her biracial girls in an interracial marriage. Posts cover a variety of topics such as diversity, curly hair as well as entertaining stories, and anecdotes.  Several of her posts have been published by the Huffington Post.