Anyone with a toddler at home can agree they really do say the silliest things. It’s even more hilarious when it comes when you least expect it. Here’s a list of our favorite pieces of toddler humor to brighten your day.
My toddler said I was his second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then he said that his mom is third. He has no favorite person. He's holding the position open.— Goats? (@Gooooats) December 15, 2017
The other day while at lunch (at a burger place) my three-year-old said to a guy at the next table, "You're a taco!"— Josh Douglas (@JoshuaADouglas) February 19, 2019
Honestly that's probably the best compliment one could give to a stranger! 🌮🌮🌮
my toddler said “I don’t love you anymore go cry in the room” so I laughed right? And he yells “where’s my backpack? I’m out of here” as he walks towards the front door.— alexia (@alekchia) July 3, 2019
At nap time today, my toddler said to me “Daddy, pretend to be a cow and eat some grass before bed”— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) March 18, 2019
Now, I am grown man. This is where I draw the line and assert my dominance
So anyways, after I pretended to be a cow for 5 minutes, young squire finally agreed to go to bed
Today I am 29 and the first thing my toddler said to me was “When will the bouncy castle be here?”. There’s nothing like kicking off a birthday with a dose of disappointment. Or she’s let the big surprise slip.— Jessica O'Sullivan (@OSullivanJess_) July 2, 2019
I heard my mom trying to put a bracelet on Addie for church this morning & my 3 YEAR OLD said “Grandma, I have to check with my mommy first because if I decide to eat this it’s a choking hazard.” 😂— hannah atkinson (@hannatkinson) March 3, 2019
I really do not know where she learns this stuff??????????
Whenever events seem to be exceeding my capacity to absorb them, I remember what my toddler said before he went to bed the night before. Last night, he said, "Hey daddy, don't tell anyone, it's a secret, but owls live in trees and only come out at night." Shhh...— Andrew Freedman (@afreedma) November 8, 2018