Canines Can Suck a Fat One

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Just when you think your child is an excellent teether and teeth just magically appear in his mouth without warning … these sharp little vampire teeth start poking through.

Your once angelic sweet baby is now turning into the spawn of the devil and you honestly consider splashing some holy water on him. Instead, you turn on “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” and everything is right with the world again. Until the DVR’d show ends. You dread the little box popping up on the bottom of the screen. You know, the one that says “Delete this recording. Yes or No.” Your child can’t talk yet but he knows what that box means, and based on his screaming you better not select “Yes.” Your sanity depends on it.

Your child is also now dangerously close to developing an addiction to Infant Motrin. You feel like an awful parent when you say “Do you want some num nums?” … which is code for Motrin … and your child actually smiles for the first time that day. He knows exactly where the Motrin is and is EX.FREAKIN.CITED. to have some.

Please dear lord, end our…I mean, his (of course…) misery and make those teeth COME IN ALREADY!