51 Jolly Holiday Jokes for Kids and Adults

1. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?

He got 12 months.

2. What does an elf study in school?

The elfabet.

3. What should you give your parents at Christmas?

A list of what you want.

4. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?

A cookie sheet.

5. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?

Elephanta Claus.

6. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

He refers to his calen-deer.

7. Where does a snowperson keep its money?

In a snow bank.

8. What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish!

9. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitus

10. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause

11. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

Because it was Decembrrrrr!

12. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?

The letter “Y!”

13. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)

14. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?

Because of all the wrapping!

15. What's another name for Santa's Little Helpers?

Subordinate clauses. 

16. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?

Moo-years Day.

17. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?

Santa Claustrophobia

18. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?

Merry Christmas to ewe.

19. What is an elf’s favorite sport?

North-pole vaulting.

20. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?

It looks like rain, deer.

21. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?

A chill pill.

22. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?

It had no legs.

23. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?

Because he went down in history.

24. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?

A snowball.

25. What did one snowman say another snowman?

You’re cool.

26. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

Silent Night.

27. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?

Chick to chick.

28. What do you get when Santa plays detective?

Santa clues! 

29. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel. 

30. What falls but never gets hurt?

Snow.

31. What kind of music do elves like?

"Wrap" music. 

32. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Nothing! It was on the house. 

33. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson?

Frostbite!

34. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman.  

35. What snack should you make for the Snowperson Holiday Party?

Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., 13 

36. What does an elf work on after school?

His gnomework. 

37. What do you call a snowperson in July?

A puddle.

38. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?

It needs a little trim. 

39. Why didn't the tree get a present?

He was knotty. 

40. What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?

Comet.

41. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?

Baaaaaa humbug! 

42. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?

A pine-apple!

43. What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots? 

44. How do reindeer know when it's Christmas?

They look at a calen-deer. 

45. What kind of car to elves drive in the off-season?

A minivan.

46. Knock knock
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut, who?
Donut open the presents until Christmas! 

47. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office? 

Rude-olf. 

48. What does a grumpy sheep say when the other sheep wish him "Merry Christmas"? 

Baaaaaa-humbug!

49. Where do reindeer go for coffee? 

Star-bucks. 

50. What's Santa's favorite candy? 

Jolly Ranchers

51. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?

Orna-mints.