These hilarious Christmas jokes will keep the whole family laughing for hours
The weather outside may be frightful but there’s nothing like some rolling laughter and hilarious Christmas jokes to warm you right up (except, maybe cocoa). If you’re looking for the funniest Christmas jokes for kids, you’ve come to the right place. And when you’re done, be sure to get them giggling with our ultimate list of jokes for kids, funny dad jokes, and birthday jokes.
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1. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
2. What does an elf study in school?
3. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
4. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?
A cookie sheet.
5. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
6. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
7. Where does a snowperson keep its money?
In a snow bank.
8. What do you call a greedy elf?
Related: 23 Festive Holiday Games You Need to Play with the Kids
9. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitus
10. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
11. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?
Because it was Decembrrrrr!
12. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”
13. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)
14. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!
Related: 10 Holiday Paper Crafts You Can Do This Afternoon
15. What's another name for Santa's Little Helpers?
16. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?
17. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?
18. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
19. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
20. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
21. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.
22. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
It had no legs.
23. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.
24. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
25. What did one snowman say another snowman?
26. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
27. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
Chick to chick.
Related: 41 Giggle-Inducing Jokes for Toddlers
28. What do you get when Santa plays detective?
29. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
30. What falls but never gets hurt?
31. What kind of music do elves like?
32. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?
Nothing! It was on the house.
33. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson?
34. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
35. What snack should you make for the Snowperson Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats
—Emmerson H., 13
36. What does an elf work on after school?
37. What do you call a snowperson in July?
38. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?
It needs a little trim.
39. Why didn't the tree get a present?
He was knotty.
40. What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?
41. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?
Related: 12 Printable Lunchbox Jokes to Brighten Your Student’s Day
42. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?
43. What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
44. How do reindeer know when it's Christmas?
They look at a calen-deer.
45. What kind of car to elves drive in the off-season?
46. Knock knock
Donut open the presents until Christmas!
47. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office?
48. What does a grumpy sheep say when the other sheep wish him "Merry Christmas"?
49. Where do reindeer go for coffee?
50. What's Santa's favorite candy?
51. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?