Hilarious Parenting Tweets of the Week

From the soccer carpool to the never-ending assortment of mismatched socks, sometimes there are days when you’ve only got a few seconds (or 140 characters) to get in a good giggle. Well, sit back and get ready to scroll because we’ve scoured the Twitterverse for moms and dads that rap about the highs and lows of parenting, and the results are hilarious.

1. Coffee is everything.

[walks downstairs]

robber: …

me: …

robber: …

me: don't touch the Kurig my wife will be pissed [walks back upstairs]

— paperwash© (@PaperWash) March 26, 2016

2. That is NOT “one little piece of tape.”

My apologies if there is a shortage of scotch tape in the world. My toddler needed to tape a piece of paper for no reason.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

3. Wise words little one.

Me: Getting dressed every day is part of growing up.

3-year-old: Growing up is stupid.

Me:

3:

Me: I have no counterargument.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2016

4. HA!

I'm not saying that my daughter is overly dramatic.
I'm just reminding you that she calls tears "wet drops of sad."

— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 29, 2016

5. Oh, that 4yo is good.

4 yo from the backseat at exactly 5 pm "mommy? Is it wine time now?" So…i'll just take that parenting award now, thanks.

— Julia Sugarbaker is vaxxed and masked (@JDSugarbaker) March 31, 2016

6. Any takers?

My daughter just spent 15 minutes telling me every part of my body that's "squishy." She's four and comes with toys and stuffed animals.

— Courtney (@Discourt) March 28, 2016

7. Kids say the darndest things.

Me: How was school today, buddy?

6yo: WAY BETTER THAN YESTERDAY CUZ YESTERDAY MY WIENER JUST HURTED ALL DAY

M: Glad I asked. As always.

— Val (@ValeeGrrl) March 30, 2016

8. The struggle…

I'm on vacation with my husband and two boys. The only thing missing is the lock on the bathroom door.

Please pray for me.

— Alison Chrun (@App4HonestBlog) March 29, 2016

9. Priorities

https://twitter.com/est1975blog/status/714837793596248064

10. As “Angel” plays softly in background

*Sarah McLachlan sits beside me* For just 25 cents a day, you can send moms like these what they need most, boxes of wine.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 31, 2016

Do you have any #funnyparenting moments to share with the Red Tricycle Community? Tell us in the comments below!