If My Toddler Could Talk Like an Grownup, Here’s What She’d Tell You

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Here’s what I imagine my toddler would say when she’s sleeping–if she could talk like a grownup.

“Hi. My name is Sloane. I may be sleeping now but as soon as I wake up I will immediately start talking, planning, playing, goofing and asserting what I want.”

“Some may say that I can go from zero to 100 in 2.5 seconds. I don’t always listen (sometimes I do!) but when I do—I immediately start enforcing these rules on everyone else around me. My nanny Tami tells me this is not the best way to make friends.”

“I do love people, so I learn to go with the flow…sometimes. In my quest for authority and control, I started trying to enforce these rules on adults—but then I almost lost my fruit snacks. Not worth it.”

“This may be hard on some people now but once I get bigger it is all going to pay off. I will write screen plays, lead business people, make people laugh and say “no “to peer pressure. Then last, but not certainly least, I will get to do my favorite job—which is to be a doctor. But for now, I’ll live in my own little world doing what I want, when I can.”

“I’ll embrace the discipline, the protection, the wrestle and the struggle so that I can be the best version of me…someday. I’ll keep caring for boo boos, learning how to love friends and even, dare I say, listening to my adults!”

“I’m a good kid. Goofy, funny, pretty and smart.”

“And if I learn this now—I’ll be better later.”

This post originally appeared on Tami Brown- Facebook & instagram.

I’ve been a nanny for two little girls long term and in some moments they have felt like my own.  I’ve aquired wisdom, refinement and hilarity along the way and would love to share my jokes and lessons. I also love God, people, good stories, healthy food, long walks, graphic arts, painting and writing.  

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