photo: iStock

As more and more parents head back to work outside of the house, and kids spend more time back in school and daycare, I have seen a significant increase in families who are desperate to get their children’s sleep on track. Families are finding this new transition to be difficult in ensuring that everyone is getting a restful night’s sleep.

The biggest piece of work that I do with these families is helping them set-up healthy bedtime routines. I have partnered with Mommy’s Bliss, one of the most trusted vitamin and supplement brands among parents, because their sleep products for kids ages 3 and older, in conjunction with a steady sleep routine, can help your family get back on track. Here are some tips you can start using right now for maintaining a healthy sleep environment for your family.

1. Start Shifting Your Schedule 
Just like families try to so with Daylight Savings, try to shift your child’s schedule back day-by-day. Start waking your child about 15 minutes earlier every day or two. Also, put your child to bed 15 minutes earlier. By the end of the week your child should be waking at your desired time and bedtime should be back to where it should be. (P.S. also shift mealtimes and nap time back if they’ve crept later).

2. Remove Electronics Before Bed 
We hate to admit it, but electronics have been the key to successful parenting over the past few months. Whether it’s the daily Zoom classes for school or some extra screen time just so you can finish up a work call, many parents are relying on tablets and TVs for their child’s engagement. But, blue light from electronics can delay the production of melatonin. So, if your child is struggling to fall asleep at night, consider removing screens about an hour before bedtime. Studies have found that the melatonin production starts to increase fairly quickly once the blue light is removed.

3. Get Back to Basics 
Remember when your child was a baby and everything you read told you to establish a nightly “routine”. Well, the same holds true for older children. Create a bedtime routine that is predictable and consistent. You may have had a routine prior to the stay-at-home-order, or perhaps you didn’t but, a nightly routine not only helps a child winddown prior to bedtime, but it also removes some of the stress on the parent. Start with a bath or shower, followed by the brushing teeth and pajamas, then onto books and cuddles, and lastly getting into bed.

4. Set Realistic Boundaries 
Since some families have really deviated from their normal schedules, it may be hard to get back on track. Start talking to your child about what’s expected of them in terms of sleep. For your preschooler this may mean reading them a book about staying in bed or purchasing an “Ok to Wake” clock. For an older child this may mean telling them to get in bed at a given time but allowing them to read a few books on their own before calling “lights out.”

5. Get Outside Help 
Sometimes, even with the best planning and routine, children still have trouble adapting to the old schedule. If you’ve tried all the tricks above and your child is still struggling to fall asleep at night, talk to your doctor about supplementing with melatonin for a few days. Although it is not a long-term solution, Mommy’s Bliss Kids Sleep Line are safe melatonin products for your child as each version is crafted with a wise blend of ingredients, including melatonin, magnesium, organic chamomile, lemon balm, and passionflower. They’re designed to work hand-in-hand with a good bedtime routine to help support restful sleep.

As moms we know that just like sickness, travel, and time changes, new routines can also disrupt even the best sleepers. Getting your child’s sleep back on track will certainly help alleviate parental stress and make your child happier overall.

For more bedtime bliss resources, visit mommysbliss.com.

Nicole is a sleep consultant and mom of 3 boys with a baby on the way. She's a member of the Association of Professional Sleep Consultants and has certifications in Infant Mental Health and Maternal Mental Health. Nicole views sleep holistically, addressing all elements in a child’s life that could prevent him/her from sleeping well.

Editor’s note: We’re making every effort to provide you with the most up-to-date information. However, there are widespread closures to help flatten the curve and slow the spread of COVID-19. We’re doing our best to keep all of our stories and calendar up to date. Stay safe! 

Finding the perfect birthday venue for your kid can be a tough job. These East Bay spots for kid birthday parties know how to hit it out of the park with the minimum amount of parental stress. Scroll down to discover unique venues that will delight your birthday boy or girl, as well as their whole crew and leave the planning to the experts!

Fairyland

Fairyland, Oakland
Imagine having cake and ice cream right next to Cinderella's glass slipper! Aimed at the six and under set, Fairyland is one of the most budget-friendly options to boot plus you can grab a few picnic tables in the Teddy Bear Grove on a first come-first served basis. Looking to just show up and have everything taken care of? Opt for the catered party option for full service!

Cost: Picnic tables in Teddy Bear Grove included with admission, or book a party package starting at $350 for 10 kids
Ages: Ideal for kids under 7
Onlinefairyland.org

Oakland Zoo, Oakland
What better place for a bunch of party animals, than the zoo? The Oakland Zoo is a popular spot for East Bay birthdays and it's easy to see why. Options can include special, close-up interactions with animals and staff demonstrations. The zoo offers tons of add-ons, so your party can stand out from the pack!

Cost: Start at $225/members, $250/non members for up to 40 guests; guests pay discounted group rate admission
Ages: All ages
Onlineoaklandzoo.org

StemChef
StemChef is currently booking virtual online escape rooms for birthday options. Kids are given a series of clues to move virtually through several rooms which culminates with using the science they learned to create a tasty treat! 

Cost: $25/participant
Ages: 8 and up
Online: stemchef.com

East Bay SPCA, Oakland
Meet some shelter animals and learn about this fantastic organization when you plan a birthday party here. You get the party space for two hours, a behind-the-scenes tour of the facility and meet and greet with a dog and a cat (if appropriate shelter animals are present). The birthday child goes home with a stuffed dog.

Cost: $300 for up to 16 kids
Ages: 6 and up
Onlineeastbayspca.org

Oakland Ice, Oakland
Your child will be the coolest around, no matter the time of year, with an ice skating party here. Each party gets a designated Party Captain who will give guests skating lessons, lead games and make sure the birthday boy or girl is happy. Packages include two hours of skating, skate rental and an hour in the party room with pizza and drinks. You can add on cakes or cupcakes—or bring your own (must be commercially prepared).

Cost: Starts at $310 for up to 10 guests
Ages: All ages
Online: Oaklandice.com

Color Me Mine, Various Locations
This spot takes the cake for best favors. Guests can take home the creations they'll make at this paint-your-own pottery and canvas studio. The fee includes set up and take down, as well as invitations. Hosts can bring in their own food and refreshments.

Cost: $100 for two hours, cost of pottery extra
Ages: Best for 6 & up
Onlinecolormemine.com

Kids Plays Zone
For children ten and under, this huge indoor play structure plus imagination play areas will be a hit! Kids can run free while adults mingle and catch up while KPZ does all the work—that's winning in our books!

Cost: $595 for two hours of exclusive use of the play zone for 12 kids
Ages: Under 10
Online: kidsplayzoneoakland.com

Bladium, Alameda
Staff at this super sports club and fitness center will keep the kids moving, while you sit back and relax. You can choose from a variety of party options: inflatables, rock climbing, flag football and soccer games, just to name a few. Prices vary depending on the activity, but each two-hour party includes pizza and drinks.

Cost: Starts at $399 for two hours, for up to 15 children
Ages: All ages, depending on activity booked
Onlinebladiumalameda.com

Pacific Pinball Museum, Alameda

**TEMPORARILY CLOSED TO PARTIES***
Get some retro birthday fun at this Alameda spot that's ready to host your crew of kids. Rent a party room for up to three hours and bring in your own food or order pizza delivery. Guests will enjoy unlimited play on over 90 vintage pinball machines.

Cost: $150 plus $15/person admission for up to 40 people.
Ages: All ages
Onlinebookings.pacificpinball.org

Chabot Space & Science Center, Oakland
**TEMPORARILY CLOSED TO PARTIES***
Birthday parties are out-of-this-world up at the Chabot Space & Science Center. The cost includes admission for up to 30 guests and a planetarium show (complete with a special birthday message). You can even customize other activities to best suit the ages of your guests.

Cost: Starts at $500/members, $550/non-members
Ages: 3 and up
Onlinechabotspace.org

Lawrence Hall of Science, Berkeley
**TEMPORARILY CLOSED TO PARTIES***
Choose your own adventure at this awesome science museum: biology, chemistry, space science, animal encounters or engineering. Each type of party includes hands-on experiments and workshops. They'll also reserve a private room for you, or a section in their revamped cafe if you choose to have them provide the refreshments.

Cost: $265/members, $300/non-members
Ages: 4-11
Onlinelawrencehallofscience.org

Habitot, Berkeley
***TEMPORARILY CLOSED*** 
Here's an experience your child will never forget: partygoers could have the museum all to themselves, if you book a party here during their usual off-hours. Habitot is an awesome spot for the toddler crowd, with tons of opportunities for imaginative play and learning. You can add on catering and special goodie bags, too. They also offer party rooms for functions during regular museum hours.

Cost: Starts at $250 for 90 minutes and up to eight children
Ages: All ages
Onlinehabitot.org

Junior Center for Arts and Science, Oakland
Hosting a party isn't rocket science, but it can be if you want it to! One of the party packages here offers guests the chance to make and launch their own model rockets. Other options include animal encounters and art instruction. They provide the materials and the know-how, you provide the refreshments and cake.

Cost: Starts at $350-$375 for up to 14 guests
Ages: All ages
Online: juniorcenter.org

MOCHA

MOCHA, Oakland
You and your guests can get creative with a party of the Museum of Children's Arts. They provide all the materials and an art teacher to guide guests through the project at hand. MOCHA offers a bunch of cool themes, too—like "Sci-Fi" where kids can use recycled materials! Projects can be adjusted for a variety of age ranges.

Cost: Starts at $375 for two hours for 10 kids, 15 adults and 1 teaching assistant
Ages: All ages
Onlinemocha.org

iStock

Aquatech, Alameda
Make a splash with a swim party, no matter what time of year. This indoor aquatic center, with two East Bay locations, hosts pool parties all year 'round. The two-hour rental includes one hour of free swim time and one hour use of the party room. You can add on a bunch of different extras and parents are welcomed (and encouraged) to get in the water, too!

Cost: $475 for two hours, up to 20 child swimmers
Ages: All ages, though those who can't swim independently *must* be accompanied by an adult in the water
Phone: 866-633-4147
Onlineaquatechswim.com

TuTu School, Various Locations
What goes better with cupcakes than tutus? This chain of dance studios offers packages that truly are all-inclusive. Parties include a short dance class, cupcakes, dress-ups (tutus and capes) and crafty favors. Your tiny dancers will also be treated to a special, birthday story time.

Cost: Start at $495 for 90 minutes and up to 10 children
Ages: All ages
Phone: 925-357-5350
Onlinetutuschool.com

Pump It Up, Concord, Oakland, Pleasanton
Your guests will be ready for a nap after a party here, guaranteed. Packages can be customized tons of ways, but all include a healthy dose of bounce time on their giant inflatables. They've also made booking super easy with an all-online system. Make sure you tell your guests to bring their socks!

Cost: Starts at $349 for up to 10 guests
Ages: All ages but kids under 34 inches are not allowed on the inflatables
Phone: 925-681-1060
Online: pumpitupparty.com

Golden Skate, San Ramon
Let the good times roll with a good ol' fashioned roller skating party. This is one of the East Bay's most beloved rinks and it's easy to see why. Parties include admission and skate rental for your guests as well as invitations and service items for food and cake. The birthday kid also gets all kind of perks—he or she can even put in song requests.

Cost: Starts at $299.50 for up to 10 guests
Ages: 4 and up
Phone: 925-820-2525
Onlinethegoldenskate.com

iStock

#bouncefarm, Martinez
Your guests will be bouncing off the walls—literally—no matter how much cake they eat! #bouncefarm is an all-indoor facility of jump houses. From giant slides to obstacle courses, they have it all. Parties include pizza and cupcakes and an hour of bounce time for the kids to work up their appetites.

Cost: Starts at $425 for 2 hours 15 minutes, up to 15 kids
Ages: All ages
Phone: 925-228-2028
Onlinebouncefarmfun.com

Lindsay Wildlife Experience, Walnut Creek
Guests will get up close and personal with some of the majestic animals they care for at the Lindsay Wildlife Experience. Experts will be on hand to talk about the animals and help guide you through the museum. The birthday kid even gets his or her very own t-shirt as part of the package!

Cost: $450/members, $500/non-members for up to 15 kids and 15 adults
Ages: Ages 1-12 recommended
Phone: 925-935-1978
Onlinelindsaywildlife.org

Silliman Aquatic Center, Newark
This giant, aquatic playground is the perfect venue for a birthday guy or gal who loves to splash. The pool area features a giant play structure, a lazy river and a super fast slide. The center has customizable packages for all age groups, even teens will like the offerings!

Cost: Starts at $400 for non-residents, for two hours and up to 15 guests
Ages: All ages
Phone: 510-578-4620
Onlinenewark.org

yelp

SensationAll, Concord
This inclusive play space offers a variety of activities to get the kids moving. The indoor playground swings and trampolines and a zip-line is in the works. Party-goers also have access to the sensory room and creativity center.

Cost: Starts at $400 for up to 20 guests
Ages: All ages
Phone: 925-798-1888
Online: sensationallkidsgym.com

Bricks and Minifigs, Concord
Let the kids go wild with LEGO bricks and don't worry about the clean up. Parties start with building and racing LEGO race cars and then move onto Minifig building. Each guest even gets to take a Minifig home (two for the birthday kid). You can bring all of your own food, but they'll supply to plates, napkins and utensils.

Cost: Starts at $160 for up to 12 guests
Ages: 5 and up
Phone: 925-825-1954
Online: bricksandminifigs.com

—Melissa Bouse

Featured photo: iStock

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Picture this: you just need a break. So you pick up the remote, flip on some cartoons and settle in the kiddos so you can take a breathe. But you may want think twice.

A recent study from the University of Arizona published in the International Journal of Advertising has found that instead of feeling a sense of relaxation while children are watching TV, parents feel the opposite––stress. So what’s the deal?

photo: Ksenia Chernaya via Pexels

It’s simple really. Kids who watch a lot of TV are subjected to a lot of advertising. Which in turn, leads to a whole lotta whining, crying and pleading when they accompany parents to the store, trying to get everything they saw a commercial for on TV.

Lead study author Matthew Lapierre, an assistant professor in the UArizona Department of Communication in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences says, “The more advertising children see, the more they ask for things and the more conflict is generated.” Of course, there are plenty of ways to combat the problem.

For starters, parents can limit screen time. More importantly, they can have open communication with their kids about consumerism and involving the entire family in purchasing decisions. The study also found that collaborative communication with children resulted in less stress for parents and that avoiding controlling (“I said no and no arguing”) or advertising (“They just want us to buy what they’re selling) communication helped keep stress low as well.

photo: Victoria Borodinova via Pexels

The study was done using data from 433 parents of children ages 2 to 12. The researchers angled the study to focus on younger kids because they rely on their parents for purchases as opposed to more independent behaviors in older kids.

Parents answered questions about communication style, how much television their kids watch each day, their children’s behavior while shopping and their own stress level.

The entire study can be read here.

–– Karly Wood

 

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Photo: Britannica for Parents

COVID-19 has caused both an increase in our stress levels and a rise in alcohol sales. We asked mental health experts for tips on how to relax without pouring that glass of wine.

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted the lives of families and created stress for parents and children alike. While many popular memes joke about drinking as a normal response to parenting stress, it’s harder to find evidence-based advice on reducing and preventing stress and how to recognize an overreliance on alcohol.

Let’s start by acknowledging that parents are feeling a lot of pressure. More than a quarter of parents surveyed in June 2020 told researchers that upheavals in daily life caused by the pandemic have had a negative impact on their mental health, interrupted their ability to support their families, and cut them off from their social support networks.

Families with young children have been hit especially hard as their access to child care has been severely limited. In almost half of the cases where parents reported their mental health had suffered, they had also lost their usual child care arrangements.

Changes Are Hard for Both Parents and Children

Kevin Basil is a single father and licensed social worker who counsels children and teens in Pennsylvania. Since schools closed in mid-March he has conducted regular video sessions with his clients and their parents. “At first it was this panic with the kids being out of school,” he said. “We take for granted that children will struggle with change, but we forget how difficult it is for parents to make those adjustments.”

The parents he works with have begun to adapt. The biggest challenge he sees is their aversion to dealing openly with their struggles. “Parents often have a ‘grin and bear it’ mentality,” he says. “They see the value of the coping mechanisms we teach the kids—mindfulness, journaling, deep breathing, reframing—but they think because they’re adults they’re supposed to just keep it together.”

Kevin suggests that the tools therapists teach aren’t only for children. “Anger management, impulse control strategies, a lot of them overlap. Adults aren’t that different.” Positive personal habits are always useful, but they are particularly important right now because social support, a highly effective way to reduce parenting stress, isn’t as accessible to most families. Kevin recommends a few ideas for dealing with stress as well as positive coping skills.

  • Deep breathing is available to most people at any moment. Stress causes us to breathe more shallowly, while deep, slow abdominal breathing helps us feel safe.
  • Journaling can have a cathartic effect similar to talking with a friend. Once you have written down a problem or worry, you don’t have to hold onto it any longer.
  • Self-care time means taking as little as 15 minutes to do something pleasurable. Kevin recognizes this can be especially hard for parents of young children, who may need to talk through their barriers for making time for themselves with a friend or therapist

More Positive Coping Skills

1. Shift Your Perspective

Researchers report that what we see around us affects our expectations. After stress-scrolling through social media, we may be more inclined to expect and notice negative behavior from our kids or partner. Conversely, after focusing on good news, we’re more likely to see the positive in those around us.

Similarly, when we reframe our situation in a positive or neutral light, our mood becomes more positive. Instead of fretting about kids’ lost time in school, we can tell ourselves that these difficulties will give them a better appreciation of the good times to come. Even just saying, “that’s life,” can be a helpful way to look at hardships. And when we feel more upbeat, we’re usually more effective parents.

2. Cut Yourself Some Slack

This is a hard time. Plan to avoid things you know will be stressful. If you know your kids will fight over a certain toy, it’s fine to discreetly store it in a closet for a few months. If sending out a holiday card with a perfect family portrait is going to stress everyone out, give yourself permission to use a family selfie or skip the portrait altogether.

This is also a good time to deliberately slow down. Give yourself extra time to get the kids ready for bed or through a difficult online lesson. It is well known that young children take longer to do almost anything and rushing stresses them out, so reducing that time pressure will help everyone.

3. Focus on Self-Care

Researchers make a distinction between meaningful happiness and self-gratifying happiness. The first boosts your energy and mood, the second is fun only until it ends. To make the most of your self-care, choose activities that inspire and calm you, whether that is making art, listening to your favorite music, chatting with a good friend, or just sitting outside. Time in nature has been shown to help with depression and anxiety. If you can’t get outside, watching a nature video or looking at pictures of green landscapes will give you this boost too.

If you want exercise to elevate your mood, double dip by choosing something that gives you meaningful happiness, whether that is gardening, playing catch, or shooting hoops.

What’s the Big Deal About One Glass of Wine?

If social media is any indication, “wine o’clock” happens for most families shortly after the kids are in bed. For many people, it’s not a big deal.

Kevin has five years of sobriety, so he doesn’t see alcohol as beneficial. However, he understands that for some parents a glass of wine or a beer is just one part of their winding down process, and not necessarily harmful. “But when it becomes more glasses or a bottle, or you think about it all day,” he says, “it’s becoming a need, not a want. It’s not just a part of your winding down process, it’s the thing that’s keeping you going.”

Alcohol is both legal and socially acceptable, which can make it hard to know if your relationship with it is leaning towards dependence. Kevin says the key is to watch how you behave around it. “If someone is enjoying a drink because it’s relaxing and tastes good, cool. But when you’re putting the kids to bed early so you can have it or you’re hiding it, or any of those obsessive behaviors, it’s not healthy.”

Kevin mentions that most parents who rely too much on alcohol aren’t truly alcoholics. If they adopt healthier coping mechanisms they will find their stress is lower and they don’t crave that evening drink as much.

Kevin recalls being 21, in college and raising his infant daughter. “I know how hard it is when you have to juggle all those things. It is hard to find time for yourself and not feel so overwhelmed,” he says. But parents need to realize they can’t pour from an empty cup.

“A lot of parents think their focus should be exclusively on taking care of the kids; they don’t realize that not taking care of themselves makes that all the harder,” he says. “Therapists always use the example of the oxygen mask on the plane: Always put yours on first. People don’t realize how sound that directive is because you’re no use to anybody when you’re a hot mess.”

It’s normal to struggle right now and the advice in this article can help. However, if you feel life is becoming too overwhelming, please contact your doctor and review the resources below.

Learn More

Bee, Ellen, “COVID-19 Advice from Family Therapist,” 2020
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Coping with Stress,” 2020
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor
Haack, Lauren M., “Parents Need Stress Management Too!” 2020
Mayo Clinic Staff, “Depression and Anxiety: Exercise Eases Symptoms,” [n.d.]
Parental Stress Line: 1-800-632-8188, 24 hours, interpreters available
Perris, Jaime, “Beginning Mindfulness Practices for Families,” 2020
Rakal, David, “Learning Deep Breathing,” 2018
Wood, Janice, “Survey: COVID-19 Stress Taking a Toll on the Families’ Mental and Physical Health,” 2020

Sources

Batenburg Anika, and Das, Enny, “An Experimental Study on the Effectiveness of Disclosing Stressful Life Events and Support Messages: When Cognitive Reappraisal Support Decreases Emotional Distress, and Emotional Support Is Like Saying Nothing at All,” 2014
Buehler, Roger, Griffin, Dale, Peetz, Johanna, “The Planning Fallacy: Cognitive, Motivational, and Social Origins,” 2010
Cartwright-Hatton, Sam, Abeles, Paul, Dixon, Clare, Holliday, Christine, and Hills, Becky, “Does Parental Anxiety Cause Biases in the Processing of Child-Relevant Threat Material?” 2014
Cohen-Cline, Hannah, Turkheimer, Eric, and Duncan, Glen E., “Access to Green Space, Physical Activity and Mental Health: a Twin Study,” 2015
Forbes, Chad E., and Leitner, Jordan B., “Stereotype Threat Engenders Neural Attentional Bias Toward Negative Feedback to Undermine Performance,” 2014
Fredrickson, Barbara L., Grewen, Karen M., Algoe, Sara B., Firestine, Ann M., Arevalo, Jesusa M. G., Ma, Jeffrey, Cole, and Steve W., “Psychological Well-Being and the Human Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity,” 2015
Gillath, Omri, and Karantzas, Gery, “Attachment Security Priming: A Systematic Review,” 2019
Golding, Sarah E., Gatersleben, Birgitta, and Cropley, Mark, “An Experimental Exploration of the Effects of Exposure to Images of Nature on Rumination,” 2018
Kang, Min Jeong, and Camerer, Colin, “fMRI Evidence of a Hot-Cold Empathy Gap in Hypothetical and Real Aversive Choices,” 2012
Gunnarsdottir, Hrafnhildur, “Parental Time Pressure and Financial Stress—Challenges for Mental Health of Nordic Children and Adolescents,” 2014
Lorber, M. F., “The Role of Maternal Emotion Regulation in Overreactive and Lax Discipline,” 2012
Norman, Luke, Lawrence Natalia, Iles, Andrew, Benattayallah, Abdelmalek, and Karl, Anke, “Attachment-Security Priming Attenuates Amygdala Activation to Social and Linguistic Threat,” 2014
Shiota, M.N., and Levenson, R. W., “Turn Down the Volume or Change the Channel? Emotional Effects of Detached Versus Positive Reappraisal,” 2012

Britannica For Parents
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

We’re living in a time when it’s nearly impossible to distinguish fact from fiction. Parents need information they trust to help them make good decisions about raising their curious learners. Britannica for Parents provides safe and credible resources to empower all kids and parents and inspire curiosity for generations to come.

When your little sets off to play on their own, do you hover? A new study has found that sitting back and watching your toddler explore their world is good for your mental health. As part of her PhD at Edith Cowan University in Western Australia, Mandy Richardson conducted the world’s first data-driven study of parenting classes based on the Respectful Approach intervention.

toddler reading

The Respectful Approach, modeled on Resources for Infant Educators (RIE)TM, guides parents to treat young children as capable and independent humans who can flourish if given safe space and freedom from too much adult direction.

Parents were invited to take part in a class for infants or toddlers over six weeks where they observed their children in uninterrupted play in a room with age appropriate toys. The infants and toddlers were free to investigate their environment and interact with other children while parents sat in the room and watched with a facilitator. After an observation period, each class introduced and discussed a topic related to the Respectful Approach.

At the end of the program, parents reported significantly lower stress levels, with more confidence and a better understanding of their children’s capabilities.

Richardson said the Respectful Approach is ultimately about building a trusting, lasting bond with positive communication between parents and children. There is less focus on checklists and achieving milestones, with acknowledgement that each child is different.

“Participants in the study reported worrying less about performance pressure after attending the classes, which let them refocus on their relationship with their children,” she said.

“As parents we tend to go and ‘save’ our children when they start to struggle with something, instead of letting them try to resolve their own challenges. But if the children aren’t looking for help, perhaps they can be left to do their own thing and work it out themselves.”

Richardson explained the Respectful Approach helps to establish good patterns in early years so children learn to build confidence in their abilities and to deal with conflict in emotionally intelligent ways.

“Traditionally early behavioral interventions have predominantly focused on modifying undesirable child behaviors,” Ms Richardson said.

“By building good communication and a close parent-child bond, we can potentially prevent problems occurring in the long term.”

Richardson and her research supervisor Associate Professor Therese O’Sullivan are now expanding the pilot study to track parents and children over three years to determine whether the decline in parental stress levels has a lasting impact and investigate long term outcomes in child development.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Stephen Andrews on Unsplash

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Connecting with your child is the essence of a happy parent-child relationship—and effective communication paves the way. Due to our technology-led world, there is a feeling of a disconnect that is not always visible. It is well said that we need to ‘Disconnect to Connect’. When we connect in any relationship, from the core of the heart, positive energy flows between us and a deep bond is created. 

Connecting with your child is not about teaching them or making them the one you wished for, but loving and accepting the one in front of you. Make your child feel worthy as they are and not when they will become better or perform better or get medals.

I know it is not easy to accept as it sounds. It takes courage and strength to connect. A feeling of disconnect seeps in when parents are pre-occupied with work, demands more than giving and do not spend time with children. Moreover, with the high level of parental stress, the child becomes more disconnected. Good and effective communication is a major aspect to help build a good and deep connection with your child. Words and emotions play an important role in any relationship.

Effective communication is a two-way process where we talk to others and listen to others. It includes both verbal and non-verbal interaction. The trend is to focus on the verbal interaction between parent and child but non-verbal interaction is equally important where we communicate through the things we do to express feelings and emotions.

Here are my 20 best tips on how to build effective communication with your child.

When you talk to your child:

  1. Check the tone of your voice, speak calmly. Avoid agitation and watch what you say and how you say.
  2. Avoid difficult words and long-winded sentences for children below 6 years old.
  3. Keep it short and simple. Use ordinary language.
  4. Avoid lecturing or preaching every time otherwise, it might put your child off and discourage him from talking to you.
  5. Do not force him to talk if he is pre-occupied with some task. Wait until he is ready to share.

When you listen to your child:

  1. Show your interest by facing your child and maintain eye contact.
  2. Be physically close to your child.
  3. Avoid distractions and put aside the work you are doing.
  4. Respond verbally with ‘Yes’, ‘I see’, or ‘okay’.
  5. Encourage non-verbally also with a smile, eye contact, nods, and gestures.
  6. Ask appropriate questions to keep the conversation flowing such as ‘what’, ‘how’, ‘when’, and ‘why’.
  7. Observe the behavior of your child and enter your child’s world.
  8. Listen to the words with eyes and keep watching how he express his feelings through his drawings or through play.
  9. Listen to his feelings and let him know that you understand him and he can trust you. When you respond to your child:
  10. Encourage discussion by asking questions and allow him to respond.
  11. If your child asks you any question, be honest and tell him if you do not know the answer.
  12. You can help your child to find him the answer.
  13. Show him the way how both of you can look for the answer.
  14. Engage your child to find the answers on his own which will help him to think and solve his problems.
  15. Do not answer every question to make him over-dependent on you.
This post originally appeared on Wonder Parenting.

Hi Team,

I'm a mommy of a 9-year-old girl! I am an ACS by profession and writer by passion. This passion for reading and writing drove me to express my thoughts and experience on parenting in the form of a blog. Do check my personal blog - Wonder Parenting!!!

Becoming a mom is a life-changing experience and no matter how much you prepare for that big moment, it can take some time to adjust and find your new mom confidence. New research reveals just how long it actually takes for women to settle into their new lives as moms.

A recent survey conducted by OnePoll found that it can take almost 14 weeks for women to feel like they’ve gotten into a groove with their new roles as moms. The study examined the confidence levels of 2,000 new moms during the first few months after giving birth. Over half (53 percent) said that time was mostly spent worrying about their abilities as a mom.

photo: adi saputra via Unsplash

A recent study published in the journal Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare had similar findings. The research revealed that it can take up to six months for moms to gain confidence. “About 25% of first-time mothers experienced a period with low maternal confidence, low maternal mood and high parental stress; yet, for most mothers, their confidence, mood and stress improved in the first 6 months after birth,” the study’s authors wrote.

The first few weeks as a new mom can be a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences unlike any you’ve had before. Learning how to care for your baby and balance your new role with your previous responsibilities can be challenging and as the research shows, it’s completely normal to to take some time to adjust.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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