Not a Rainbow Baby, Just My Baby

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Photo: @intentionallyariel

We had a miscarriage in February 2019 around 10/11 weeks. It was surprising and devastating, to be honest. I know that the statistics are 1:4 women suffer this loss, but I never thought that I would be in the group of “ones.”

Now here I am 28 weeks pregnant with our second baby boy, due February 8, 2020. The irony of the timing is not lost on me.

I know that a lot of women call their baby after a loss, a “rainbow baby.” Many companies have even sold rainbow baby-themed products. However, the phrase just doesn’t resonate with me, though. I get it, it’s a rainbow after a storm. It’s life after a death. That’s a great outlook! That’s just not my outlook.

I want to celebrate this baby because of his own unique life, not put the memory of a loss attached to him. All babies are miracles. Not just ones that come after a loss. Everything about this pregnancy and baby is special because HE is special. Not because of his pregnancy or birth order. I never want him to grow up thinking that his life isn’t just as wanted and prayed for as our other kids.

My husband and I will never forget the baby that we lost, but I feel like that is our grief to carry, not one to put on our kids who don’t know anything about it. In a way, I feel like that’s forcing negative emotions on them that can’t be processed because they weren’t a part of the situation. I won’t hide our story from our kids, but I also will not call any of my kids our rainbow baby. They are all our miracle babies!

 

Ariel is a stay at home mom to a very curious two year old with another baby on the way! Some of her favorite things (besides her husband and son) are lemon water, exploring Louisville, and writing about real life! Connect with Ariel on Instagram: @intentionallyariel