Warning: Your Child Might Be A Jerk If…


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Okay, your kid is probably not a jerk at all. No kids are jerks…or maybe all kids are jerks. I love my own kids with every fiber in my being, but they can be total jerks. Let’s look at a few ways our little darlings are anything but.


Just last week the twins filled a dry oats canister with water and made oatmeal sludge. They poured it all over my dining room table. It look hours to get that caked on crap cleaned out of the wood cracks. Oh, it was my birthday too.


I hope there is no emergency here anytime soon…like mommy having a stroke from your daily antics. I can not tell you the number of times my kids have done something like this. I still cannot figure out how to get the running boards in my car to work correctly.


It is not paint, it is toothpaste. Stop smearing it everywhere but on your teeth!


Kids really hate happiness, especially when it is yours. At least he responded back in a timely fashion.


The words “DON’T TOUCH” have zero power. This little tornado is going to need to be strapped into something.


Whoa there Picasso! I don’t even think that the Magic Erase Sponge can tackle this job. Apologies for not being able to pay for your college. Now I have to renovate the bathroom.


Joke is on you, kids! Those are YOUR toothbrushes.


I wonder what her mother does for a living. At least she has thought this thing the whole way through. Points for attention to detail.


I guess I can’t Google, “putting your children up for adoption” now.It’s a really good thing you little angels are so darn cute.

paintDid she bathe in paint? She barely missed a single spot! It hurts just looking at this picture. Please let this at least be water-based paint.


What?!? No Batman toy for Christmas? DARN YOU, SANTA! Get it right next year guys. Let this be a warning.

Kids are sweet little gifts from the heavens…until they are not.

Kristin is a blogging SAHM of 4 unruly princesses.  When she is not busy raising humans and vacuuming up toys she can be found at the local Target or hiding in her laundry room where she writes for Red Tricycle, Suburban Misfit Mom and Sammiches and Psych Meds.

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