Thoughts Moms Have At The Hair Salon

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I don’t know about you but for me a trip to the hair salon is a real treat. With four small kids at home, a husband who works 10-12 hours a day and a boatload of responsibilities, I rarely get to treat myself to the salon experience.

But when I do, I do it up.

Here are some thoughts that run through our mom-brains when we spend a few hours at the hair salon.

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We allow ourselves to go wild…but just for a minute

I am ready to transform! Buh-bye grays, ta-ta frizz, and toodles long unmanageable hair. Today I am cutting it all off. I will just flip through my Pinterest board called “Cool Hair” and pick something so fresh and funky. Maybe I will dye it silver with a touch of lavender. I read in US weekly that color combo was totally in this year.

(Over walks the stylist.)

Hi. Just a trim and a highlight please.

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All the stylists become a strange soap opera.

Look at this bevy of young hipsters. I wonder if they all hang out after work and party like the gang on Vanderpump Rules. Hmmmm…. now who would be hooking up here? Ah- I bet that girl over there totally has a thing for that guy by the sink. BUT WAIT! He looks like he has a thing for the stylist by the window.

It is all so dramatic in my head.

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We have too much time to think all of the sudden.

I have been sitting in this chair for two hours straight. I have read every magazine in here cover to cover and my phone has died. Geez. When was the last time I sat for two hours and did nothing. Do I even like this? I don’t know, this is such a foreign feeling.

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The re-creation of salon st‌yle is like studying for the bar exam.

Wow, I look amazing. How on earth did this person make my hair so light and bouncy? I should have been paying better attention! How am I going to recreate this look when I get home. First I am going to need all of the products that she used to make me look this stunning. Give me all of them, they are completely necessary. I wonder how many days I can ride this fab look out before I have to wash my hair… maybe four days if I sleep like a vampire and do not move all night long.

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The awkward conversation with the stylist almost always poses a problem.

What the heck are we going to talk about for 2.5 hours?  I don’t spend that much time conversing with my husband in an entire week!  I should have made a list of topics to chat about because I really hate awkward silence.  Well at least I can talk non stop about the kids.  Heaven knows that is what I spend the majority of my life discussing with folks anyways.  I doubt this girl will really care, she looks to be about 12.

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Fancy hair makes us social.

I look so great I can not simply go home. I need to show this mane off to the whole wide world! Where to go…. I have to pick the kids up from school in about an hour so that limits me. Maybe a quick trip to Target? Who am I kidding? I can’t do Target in an hour. Darn. At least I can walk into school looking fly and pick the kids up as opposed to hiding in the car line beneath a baseball cap. I doubt the kids will even recognize me looking this assembled.

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We forget that there IS a budget.

You know what? I don’t care HOW much this all costs. I never treat myself and quite frankly I look like dog poo. Do whatever it is you have to do to make me look like a superstar. I mean give me the works and spare no expense.

$300 later…

Just kidding. I actually care a whole lot now.

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Kristin is a blogging SAHM of 4 unruly princesses.  When she is not busy raising humans and vacuuming up toys she can be found at the local Target or hiding in her laundry room where she writes for Red Tricycle, Suburban Misfit Mom and Sammiches and Psych Meds.