Two Mamas, For Real!

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My twins are in elementary school at a local school in our neighborhood. They walk to school on sunny days, they spill contents of their lunches into their backpacks, they learn to make friendship bracelets, and they are ridiculously hungry after school. They bicker, they play, they wrestle, they adore their little sister. They are just like every other kid. Some days, they are optimistic about social change and dream up ways to house and feed all of the homeless. Other days, their focus is much closer to home, and in fact, hits too close to home. One evening, in the dreamy time of backrubs and goodnight kisses, my daughter quietly said to me that a peer in her class “doesn’t believe I have two moms”. I quieted, and my focus narrowed in on what was surely to be a long conversation with a lot of feelings. I gently asked more about her experience. She inquired as to whether her mom (aka: “Mom”) and I (aka: “Mama”) could take her to school together the next morning. I figured out that she wanted to prove to this naive peer that she, indeed, has two moms. We talked. And talked. And talked. I wiped her tears as she expressed some natural feelings of “I wish I had a dad” and “Why does he keep not believing me..?”. We talked all about kids who haven’t yet learned that there are all types of families, and how great it would be if this peer could meet more types of families. This comment made me recruit my most mature response. At the same time, I suppressed my desire to say, “What a punk! A jerk! Don’t let him make you feel insecure. You don’t have to prove anything to him! I’m calling his mother tomorrow!”. It was a bedtime moment in which I felt connected to all parents, to those moments we’ve all shared. Those moments where we are brought quickly and humbly into the moment, into not always having answers. And as I combed her tangles with my fingers, I had to sit in the quiet unknowing. I realized what her two mamas were bringing into her life, and into this peer’s life: reality. Understanding that families come this way, that they come with aunties and grandmas and silly uncles and two dads and single moms and widowed parents and …for real!… two mamas. 

A mama to fraternal twins and a toddler, I stay busy, tired, challenged, and laughing! As a part-time Speech-Language Pathologist, I am endlessly fascinated by how children learn and develop language. I love scouring the Web for everything from Pinterest-themed projects to home decor to backyard play ideas. Join me!