We Have to Stop Shaming Stay-at-Home Moms because It’s NOT Okay


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I work full-time and I freelance on the side. I grind and I always have. I’m what you’dconsider a “career woman,” a hustler or an entrepreneur. I like to work. It gives me a sense of emotional satisfaction and productivity. I went to school for my specific career, got the fancy graduate degree and I got lucky: it’s exactly what I want to be doing. I also happen to be paid fairly well for harnessing my skills.

Maybe it’s a Millennial thing or maybe it’s the uglier side of feminism emerging, but we’re facing a female crisis right now—and we need to talk about it.

We need to stop shaming stay-at-home mothers.

We live in this fast-paced, 24/7 connected society, a world built on online e-commerce, social media platforms and automatic banking. Everything is at our fingertips—and that’s probably an understatement. More and more careers have become remote or virtual. The computer is the forefront of most of our work.

We continue to make all these amazing career and technology advances, so where are we falling short? At the home, that’s where.

For all the mothers who want to climb the proverbial career ladder, there’s a mother who wants to dedicate her skills, compassion and time to her children. There’s a mother who is willing to tackle the highest-stress, lowest-paid job of them all: raising kids!

Unfortunately, we (yes, I’m looking at my fellow female peers) have a self-righteous tendency to judge these mothers. As if they somehow aren’t good enough or competent enough. As if they don’t deserve the superstar badge status of juggling full-time work, a bustling household, chores, personal fitness and mental well-being.

I mean, what is balance, anyway? Because, every mother I talk to would really like to know what balance looks like. And, if it were for sale on the market, mothers would be lining down the street to spend however much this balance thing costs.

Children are demanding. They’re dependent and needy and unpredictable. Even though we may have all the self-help, parenting guidance we could ever want, children sure don’t come with instruction manuals.

Here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with working. There’s nothing wrong with staying home. What is wrong is pointing fingers at the other mother for somehow being less-than. What is wrong is acting as if there’s one right way to be a parent.

If there is something inherently wrong to do as a parent, it’s not even our jobs to judge or fix it. It’s not our jobs to preach or lecture or make snarky comments. Is that how you want to model healthy communication for your children? Is that the kind of kindness and compassion you want others to treat you with?

Mothers need to bond together. As women, we will always have greater power in numbers. And as women, we are incredibly strong.

For the sake of the children, let’s stop the shaming. Living in today’s fast-paced world is already complicated enough. Let’s stop pitting against each other.

Featured Photo Courtesy: Katie Emslie
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