Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: Mar. 22, 2019

My kids are asleep, so I can finally kick back, relax and…

Just kidding.

One of them is up again.

— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) March 18, 2019

My 9yo called the gold in the pot at the end of the rainbow “leprecoins” and if she keeps coming up with puns to butter me up IT IS WORKING

— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 17, 2019

You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 19, 2019

Welcome to my 5 o’clock hour every weekday as I try to cook: 1 kid’s yelling, 1 kid’s crying, 2 kids fighting, 1 kid’s painting the wall, another’s wailing he wants bed, 2 more are harassing the cat.
When I wake up I start the day with only 2 kids.

— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) March 19, 2019

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework.

You can’t have both.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 20, 2019

30% of parenting is just asking,
“Why is this wet?”

— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) March 20, 2019

Here’s a little song I wrote about cleaning my teenager’s room it’s called “There’s a Sandwich in the Bed” and a one and a two

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 20, 2019