You made it––another week in the books! Whether you had an easy week getting everyone back to school after Spring Break or you barely made it through by the skin of your teeth, why not reward yourself with a batch of funny tweets? Keep reading for our roundup of the funniest things parents had to say on Twitter this week.
1. Just prepping for a summer of “look at me!”
Don’t know about y’all but I’m pretty jacked to watch my kids do some shallow end handstands this summer.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 7, 2019
2. Any.THING.
Before I was a parent I never knew that kids could literally fight about anything.
— Jules (@journalofjules) April 7, 2019
Who’s breathing whose air.
How bendy a banana is.
What shade of brown poo is.
Daddy or chips.
3. Works every time.
4 am
— Mummy Dear (@ThatMummyLife) April 9, 2019
3: Sleep is BORING!
Me: How. Dare. You. It’s time you learn. You see, sleep is the most wonderful…
3: *snoring*
4. Dang you Kroger for moving the bread aisle!
Welcome to adulthood.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 4, 2019
You get mad when they rearrange your grocery store now.
5. Nope.
Do you have any idea what it’s like to get three kids dressed, fed, and out the door on time for school?
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) April 9, 2019
Me either.
6. WHY!?
Every year I spend the whole morning getting my kids’ hair perfect for picture day, and then I get the proofs back and they look like they were dragged through the mud and electrocuted in the 10 minutes they were at school.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) April 9, 2019
E V E R Y Y E A R
7. We’d go.
There needs to be realistic parenting classes available, like “TV Show Agreement for Siblings 101” and “Grocery Store Bribery for Beginners.”
— Erin De Boer (@erin_de_boer) April 8, 2019
8. 🤷
It was around the time my 7yo son told me he was taking a fork to the bathroom to clean his nails that I realized maybe my parenting style isn’t for everyone
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) April 10, 2019
9. No, it won’t…
4: Mommy, can you get me a snack?
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 9, 2019
Me: Gimme a minute sweetie. I don't feel very good.
4: But Mommy's can't get sick!!
Me: Why not?
4: Because then who will take care of us???
Me: Your father?
4: No, that won't work….
10. Greeeaaaat.
Oh, you lost, your tooth? With only five minutes before bedtime? The tooth fairy must be thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. I’m sure she didn’t have anything else to do tonight. This is just so, so great.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) April 11, 2019
––Karly Wood
photo: Ryan McGuire via Gratisography; composite by Karly Wood for Red Tricycle
