Miscarriage is common. It’s also heartbreaking and painful and isolating. But what isn’t always common is hearing about a miscarriage from a partner’s perspective, a view that is necessary and much-needed for others going through similar experiences.
Grey’s Anatomy star Giacomo Gianniotti did just that on a recent episode of the Man Enough Podcast, sharing he and his wife, Nichole Gianniotti, experienced missed miscarriages, which require medical intervention.
“During the pandemic, my wife and I suffered two back-to-back missed miscarriages,” Gianniotti told podcast hosts Justin Baldoni, Liz Plank and Jamey Heath. “Even though my suffering can’t even be compared to my wife’s suffering, I still suffered. I still lost two children. I’m never going to meet them, never going to know their names, never going to get to push them on a swing,” he added.
A missed miscarriage, often known as a silent miscarriage, is where the fetus has died but the body has yet to (or cannot) expel it. There is no bleeding or loss of fetal tissue, so they often go undetected. In these cases, a doctor can either prescribe medication or performs a D&C (dilation and curettage) procedure to remove the fetus remains.
Gianniotti said the experience, for him, occurred in several phases. “The first trauma is finding out that you’ve lost your child,” he said. “The second trauma is having to go to a medical facility where that child is having to be removed from her body. The third trauma is having to share this news,” he explained, “and having to re-live that trauma in the sharing of it.”
“Men need to speak up and share their stories, now more than ever,” Gianniotti added. “This is a time ‘again’ when women’s reproductive rights and bodily autonomy are being attacked and I felt it was the right time to share our story in the hopes that other men would share theirs,” he wrote on Instagram.
Wife Nichole shared a snippet of his podcast, saying how “proud”she is that her husband decided to share their story with the world. “I hope that other men can feel seen by seeing a man like a mine @giacomo_gianniotti be so incredibly vulnerable and feel like they too can speak on these issues.”
She added his openness allowed others to share their stories as well, which has helped her heal. “All of you sharing your stories has been so helpful to me and my healing. BUT because of your bravery and strength, I’m able to see that I too have got this. So thank you.”
