The Pandemic Forced Me to Breastfeed & It Was the Best Thing I Ever Did

by Danielle Rizzo

4 years ago

Katelynn Ansari

I'm a creative hustler and model turned mama. I love sharing real-life moments, affordable fashion, and everyday beauty looks.

I’d like to start off by saying this isn’t a political post – despite your stance on COVID-19, I think we can all agree that it’s been rough on us all.

I had a baby during the peak of COVID-19 lockdowns and let me tell you; it was wild. I was having appointments in my car, we didn’t know if my husband would be able to attend the birth, and we watched supermarkets be drained of basic baby necessities like diapers, wipes, and formula. This was my second pregnancy, and I was terrified to give birth like many mothers are but then also faced with the uncertainty of the world and how I would provide for this new life.

With my first baby, Cash, I tried to breastfeed but didn’t last more than 3 months. My nipples hurt, I was exhausted, and I had no idea what I was doing. At that level of exhaustion, formula sounded like a much better option. Fast forward to the pandemic and seeing the pandemonium of baby formula being unavailable to new mamas – I knew from that moment on, I was going to breastfeed if it was the only thing I did. There was no guarantee that formula would be an option this time around.

When Oliver finally arrived, he was a bundle of pure happiness. We waited to know the gender till his due date and although I swore he was a girl, my husband and I were in complete shock to hear the nurse proclaim, “it’s a boy!” Oliver came into this world on April 26 via planned C-Section; thanks to placenta previa.

Soon after the serotonin high of meeting our little man wore off, on came the same breastfeeding woes from my first – the cracked nipples, pain, exhaustion, cluster feeding, and night feeds. However, this time was different; my mind was right. I’m a very head-strong woman and when I put my mind to something, I don’t waiver. My poor husband would confirm this. Although secretly I know he loves how determined and strong-willed I am (haha). I kept breastfeeding to be certain that Oliver would be fed no matter what and he wouldn’t get sick. I would be his safe place amidst the pandemic. Turns out, it was the best thing I ever did. Pushing through the tough 3-month mark was exactly what needed to happen. From past experience, I never thought I would like breastfeeding as much as I do now but let me tell you, it’s pure joy. The bond Ollie and I have is special. We get uninterrupted time together where we just cuddle, and *sometimes* sit in silence. I look down into his eyes and see such a pure soul. I’m watching him grow, knowing that I am responsible for that. I know that no matter what happens, he will be fed. Truthfully, I’m a bit sad knowing it’s going to end soon.

Breastfeeding is hard. They say it’s a natural thing and I understand that. However, I don’t know about you, but no one ever taught me how to breastfeed. It didn’t come natural to me and in my exhausted state of mind, I had no idea what advice to take.