Whatever your opinion of Tom Brady, his football career or his on-again-off-again-retirement is, there’s no debating that the parenting universe is chalking up a win in their commentary of his decision to come out of his brief retirement from the NFL. Sure, he spent half his life playing professional football and it’s likely a hard habit to kick, but people everywhere have developed a theory about his decision to come out of retirement after just six months at home: It’s not the football—it’s the kids.
The Holderness Family’s satirical video of Brady’s first day of retirement nailed the logistical challenges of parenting. “One of the boys is at karate and the other is at drum lessons in Bradenton,” Pretend Gisele says, to which Pretend Tom replies “Bradenton? Where is that?” … “Oh, it’s about an hour away.” … “Ok, when does he need to be picked up?” … “In 45 minutes.” … “So should I…?” Sound familiar?
Tom Brady got one taste of what it's like to help kids with math homework and decided to return to being tackled by the largest men in the world – Stephen Colbert
— Henry Djoutsa 🇨🇲🇺🇸 Supports🇺🇦 (@D_jeneration) March 15, 2022
😂😂😂
Tweets erupted soon after Brady announced his un-retirement, keeping in the same vein of thought. As we all know, full-form tackling by giants is a nice alternative to Eureka math. Luckily, Brady had the option. Not all of us are that lucky to have an escape hatch from middle school math homework.
Sounds like Tom Brady had to listen to his kids talk about the Minecraft world they built.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 14, 2022
Minecraft got a mention, as well, and the world reacted. 3k people liked the theory that Brady’s decision to return to football had something to do with his aversion to hearing about his kids Minecraft world. And if you peruse the replies to this particular Tweet, you may shed a tear. It feels so good to be seen.
https://twitter.com/kylewaldrup/status/1503156434258776066
When faced with the choice of another mentally & physically grueling season of football or parenting every day, Tom Brady chose football. 😂
— Ian Harrington (@Harringtonian) March 13, 2022
I feel ya @TomBrady
And many people commented that the time commitment of parenting may have had something to do with Brady’s return from retirement. The Holderness Family imagined his reply to a possible dance recital, having Pretend Tom say “It’s 5 hours long? How many dances is she in?” Memes have flooded social media referencing the total lack of control over your own schedule you have as a parent.
I totally understand Tom Brady’s decision to un-retire. I was a stay-at-home dad. Getting chased by premier athletes who want to rip your head off is a heck of a lot easier.#parenting
— Bert Fulks (VURFIDE) (@BertFulks) March 14, 2022
And whether it’s true or not, we can’t help but chuckle at the whole idea that Brady “would rather be hit by a 350 lb defensive lineman than stay at home with (his) wife and kids,” as lovely as they may be.
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