When you were a kid, did you ever mysteriously develop a “cold” that required you to stay home from school? Probably a few times. (Admit it: Even as an adult, you’ve called out “sick” a time or two.) Try to remember that the next time your kid insists they just can’t make it in. Mandy Grass, a behavior analyst and parent coach, recently took to Instagram to offer two suggestions for parents looking for creative ways to get around the “my stomach hurts—I don’t want to go school” spiel and get everyone back on track during a busy morning.
1. Validate the feeling of not wanting to get up.
Grass emphasizes the importance of validating feelings and letting kids air grievances. Sure, you’ll have to sit through some whining, but there’s a chance they might go into more detail about why they’re not doing well and/or want to avoid school: Maybe they’re anxious about a test, are experiencing friendship issues, or are dealing with some type of bullying. The trick is to know the right time and place to allow the vent session.
2. Have them complete simple tasks before they can talk about it.
Here’s what you do: Use behavioral momentum to get them moving. Have them get up, get dressed, and get their school things together before allowing them to tell you what’s bothering them. As Teka J. Harris, M.A., BCBA, writes for The May Institute, behavioral momentum is making a series of easy, or “high-probability,” requests followed by a difficult or “low-probability” request. The goal is to get the individual accustomed to responding to easy requests, thereby increasing the likelihood that he or she will comply with the more difficult ones.” Chances are, once they’re caught up in the morning routine, their mysterious ailment and desire to complain will have disappeared altogether.
But, as Grass explains, the important thing is giving your child the space to talk about whatever’s bothering them. In doing so, you give them the power to express themselves but aren’t totally caving to their demands.
