Are You a ‘Bedroom Parent’ or ‘Living Room’ Parent?

In a series of viral TikTok videos, one mom is exploring the differences between “living room parents” and “bedroom parents”

When I was growing up in the ’90s, family time always took place in the living room. When my parents were in their bedroom, it was their space. No kids were allowed. If you needed something—and only if you really needed something, you could knock on the door and wait to be invited in. But hanging out in there with them? That was unheard of. Now, in a series of viral TikTok videos, one mom is exploring this phenomenon as she explains the difference between “bedroom parents” and “living room parents.”

Marissa Kile is a living room parent. In one of her videos, she explains that she made that choice very consciously after she grew up with bedroom parents.

“I grew up where like my parents hung out in their bedroom,” she explained. “Like 24/7, they were never in the living room, okay? So, like, going into my parents’ bedroom was like a sacred thing. Like, you stood at the door, and you waited for permission to go in, okay?”

She went on to explain that she always wished her parents would spend time with her in shared spaces like the living room. So, now that she has kids of her own, that’s what she does.

“We sleep in here. That’s it,” she said, gesturing around the bedroom. “Am I the only person that just sleeps in their f*cking room?”

In a follow-up video, Kile explained that she started to realize there was a difference between living room parents and bedroom parents when she brought it up to her husband.

“I didn’t know that living room parents were a thing until I was much older because my parents were bedroom parents, but also my best friend growing up, her parents were bedroom parents…. so I thought that was normal,” she said. But her husband’s parents spent all their time in the living room, so he did not get it.

She also clarified that the bedroom parents of today are different from the bedroom parents of the ’80s and ’90s, who retreated to their rooms and left the kids to fend for themselves in other parts of the house.

“We were just free range, doing our own thing. And then every once in a while, we’d have like a family dinner night and we would see them. So, that is the difference between my bedroom parents and bedroom parents of today where they actually hang out with their children in their bedrooms,” she said.

So is one type of parent better than the other? As long as your kids are loved, absolutely not.