The holidays are filled with traditions, joy and tons of hilarious moments when you have kids. Whether you’re already worn out from winter break or if you’re just trying to keep up with that dang Elf on the Shelf, there are plenty of Twitter parents sharing in the same Christmas magic. Keep reading to see some of our fave tweets about surviving the holidays with kids.
1. Have kids, they said.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying a glass of wine and a movie you can watch Peppa’s Christmas for the 86th time while I go outside and figure out why the giant inflatable Santa isn’t blowing up.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 9, 2019
2. Ohh, the stress eating.
I’ve come to realize that only kids consider this the 🎵most wonderful tiiime of the year🎵
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 7, 2019
For parents, it’s all pine needle debris, over-spending, a shameful # of Amazon deliveries, stress-eating and hypothetical escape plans.
3. When all the holiday things break the bank before Christmas morning.
Wife: It turns out the Christmas lights display at the botanic garden is really expensive. Do you still want to go?
Me: Um, I didn’t want to go when I thought it was free, so… 😬😬😬
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 3, 2021
4. What a lovely 30 minutes it is.
As a parent I love this time of year: listening to the kids write their letters to Santa, watching Christmas films, going out and choosing a Christmas tree, and going into the attic to get all the decorations so I can just sit up there in peace for about half an hour
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) December 8, 2019
5. #parentperks
Have kids so that instead of real gifts you can give friends and family novelty photo items with pictures of your children they saw on social media 6 months ago.
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) December 10, 2019
6. It’ll be much easier.
Me: sure, I’d love to contribute to the holiday bake sale
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) December 10, 2019
PTA mom: GREAT! It just has to be gluten, dairy, sugar and flavor free… you’d be surprised how many parents don’t know that!
Me (had no clue): yeah, shocking. Tell you what, how about I just give up a kidney instead?
7. Why, tho?
I laid under the Christmas tree to remind my family that my presence > presents, but everyone started crying.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 10, 2019
8. The big man is on speed dial.
If you don't threaten to text Santa "right this minute" every 5 minutes, is it even Christmas?
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) December 21, 2017
9. Not it!
Arguing with my husband over whose turn it is to move the Elf is what this season is really about.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) December 4, 2019
10. They’ll love the center-cut filet.
https://twitter.com/fakeadultmom/status/1204032568821190657?s=20
11. True story.
Pro tip:
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) December 9, 2019
Hide your family’s Christmas presents in the laundry hamper… no one ever gets near the laundry hamper.
12. Dasher, Prancer, Rudolph!
I was trying to yell at one of my kids but I forgot her name. I actually forgot all of my kids names, so I just started yelling reindeer names until she looked at me and I told her to stop rolling her grapes down the slide.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 12, 2019
13. Double-edged sword.
Pro: My kids know what they want for Christmas.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 12, 2019
Con: My kids know what they want for Christmas.
14. #elffail
Child: The Shelf Elf was in my room this morning!
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 11, 2019
Me: Uh-oh.
Child: Why uh-oh?
Me: They usually only get close to people when they're ready to feed.
Child: MAKE IT LEAVE MAKE IT LEAVE
15. Same.
Elf on the Shelf is essentially a way for my kids to make sure I do one productive thing once they go to sleep.
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) December 5, 2019
16. What is it about squirrels?
Dear kids: I love you both more than life itself, but no, Santa will not be bringing you a pet squirrel this Christmas.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) December 2, 2021
––Karly Wood
Feature image: Gratisography
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