Home Work, Travel & Life Flamingo Witches, Bacon Tweezers & Wet Drops of Sad: Weird Ways Kids Describe Common Things by Karly WoodDecember 12, 2019 Gratisography Search more like this crowfeverfibereagleairplaneweirdglitterbaconmeathalloweensugarpoolpizzabirthday Advertisement Trending Now Food & Drink General Mills Is Bringing Back 4 Classic Sugar Cereals That Your Mom Never Let You Eat Viral & Trending Cat Sneaks into Family Car & Joins Their Road Trip, Becomes Instant Celebrity Viral & Trending Weatherman Discovers His Map Is a Touchscreen and His Reaction Is So Pure Celeb & Entertainment Serena Williams Announces Retirement: ‘If I Were a Guy, I Wouldn’t Be Writing This’ Celeb & Entertainment ‘Bluey’ Season 3 is Coming to Disney+ This Week! Advertisement If the world let kids be in charging of naming things, we’d all live in a happier place. From surprisingly accurate descriptions to downright hilarious phrases, our roundup of funny tweets from Twitter parents is bound to make you chuckle. Keep reading for a collection of laugh-worthy ways that kids describe common things. 1. Technically this is very accurate, so…My 5 yo was helping me sort laundry and he saw my bra and said “Mom there’s your boob clothes!”And now I’m going to forever call my bras “Boob Clothes”— Mom.Whine.Repeat (@MomWhineRepeat) January 3, 20192. What would your “birthday meat” be?My son calls turkey his “birthday meat” because he was born in November. Now I think everyone should have a “birthday meat”.— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) May 21, 20193. So body positive!3yo can’t quite say “birdie” correctly so she’s walking around yelling “look it’s a beautiful booty!”— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) May 22, 20194. This is shockingly accurate.The 5 year old, with a tummyache, just told me she had “poop soup” in the bathroom, and I’m never using the word diarrhea again.— Sara (@smilely_gal) May 29, 20195. Beat Fever doesn’t have the same ring to it.My 5 year old called a disco ball a “beat ball” and I’m declaring that we all call it that from now on.— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) December 12, 20196. Goodbye crow, hello Halloween Eagle!My friend’s 5-year-old just saw a crow and called it a “Halloween eagle.” And a child shall lead us. It is known. This is the new name for the bird-formally-known-as-crow. You know what to do, @MerriamWebster.— Tessa Dare (@TessaDare) May 30, 2018 7. This would also be a good name to call a purse.2yo referred to her coat pockets as "snack holes" and this is what I shall forever call them— Rebecca Caprara (@RebeccaCaprara) February 23, 20188. Why haven’t we thought of this!?5-Year-Old: HEY! WHERE ARE MY MATTRESS CURTAINS!?Me: Um… your sheets? I’m washing them.— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) September 4, 20189. So emotional, and so much better than “tears.”I'm not saying that my daughter is overly dramatic. I'm just reminding you that she calls tears "wet drops of sad."— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) March 29, 201610. BRB, heading to the airplane store!Little kids may wake up too early but at least my five-year-old daughter calls the airport the airplane store.— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) September 7, 201411. 😂😂😂A friend’s 5yo was wailing about seeing “flamingo witches” after watching the National Geographic channel. Took a little while to figure out she was talking about vultures.— jillian (@jilliank245) May 30, 201812. Gotta go apply my armpit makeup!My daughter calls deodorant “armpit makeup”. You’re welcome.— Stephen Amell (@StephenAmell) May 29, 2018 13. Because two-year-olds are the best.My daughter calls corn on the cob holders “corn chargers” and I think we should just let 2 year olds name everything from now on.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 27, 201814. 🙌My son calls chameleons "lizard wizards" I'm done— Web DM Emma (@EmmaWrote) March 25, 201915. Nailing it, for sure.My 4 yo called my boobs “body balloons” today and I can’t tell if I’m nailing or epically failing as a parent anymore.— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) August 16, 201916. Pass the pizza sugar, please.My 5yo calls parmesan cheese "Pizza sugar."And I'll cut anyone that tells her otherwise.— Tales of a Waffle House Server. (@AutisticDad23) September 30, 201817. Accurate.More updates from my 2-year-oldshe calls pre-school "play dough school"my day is over— Anthony🎶Holden (@nthonyholden) September 18, 201818. For REAL.Son #2 referred to the chick peas on his plate as “hummus balls” and everyone better get on board with that, pronto.— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) July 6, 2019 19. Anyone else suddenly want bacon?My daughter calls our salad tongs "bacon tweezers" and that is all I will ever call them from now on.— Karly Wood (@karlydubs) July 2, 201920. We could all use a little extra fiber!4-year-old: This is good oakmeal.Me: OATmeal.4: OAKMEAL.Now with extra bark.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 1, 201921. #dreadmillMy 4 year old called a treadmill a “dreadmill” and now I think the rest of us are the ones actually saying it wrong.— Becca Carnahan (@with_love_becca) September 23, 2019 RELATED STORIESThe 20 Funniest Parenting Tweets You Can Totally Relate To Funniest Tweets about #DadLifeThe Most Hilarious Tweets About Mother’s Day Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Copy (Opens in new window) Search more like this crowfeverfibereagleairplaneweirdglitterbaconmeathalloweensugarpoolpizzabirthday Welcome to our Tinybeans family! Be sure to check your email for new activities, recipes and parenting hacks – and to see if you’ve won! Do you have a dog or cat? Select YES below and click submit to start receiving FREE pet ideas and inspiration, news about new pet products, exclusive offers and limited-time promotions. Yes, I have a pet! Submit GET READY FOR SUMMER! Enter to Win a $250 Gift Card! Enter your email and zip code below for a chance to win a Mastercard Gift Card. We’ll pick one winner per month through August 31, 2022 – 5 lucky winners in all! email zip_code campaign_name Enter Now! I agree to the official rules and to receive email communications from Tinybeans. By providing my email address, I agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience possible. Accepting the use of cookies enables important site functionality including personalization and analytics. Accept Decline Create an account to save this content on Tinybeans Choose how you would like to sign up. Continue with Apple Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Continue with Email By signing up, you agree to Tinybeans Terms of Service and acknowledge you have read and agreed to our Privacy Policy. Sign in to your Tinybeans account Don’t have any account? Create an account here. Forgot your password? Reset it here. Sign In or Continue with Apple Continue with Facebook Continue with Google Personalized recommendations Tinybeans uses personal information to share useful recommendations and ideas for your family. This may include your previous activity, family profile and your hometown. Tinybeans keeps your data safe and does not sell personal information to any third party. Learn more about your privacy and location choices. Close
Celeb & Entertainment Serena Williams Announces Retirement: ‘If I Were a Guy, I Wouldn’t Be Writing This’