When you’re sick of packing lunches and making the morning dash to school, summer break sounds pretty enticing. But it doesn’t take long for the endless, long hot days to start taking their toll––and these hilarious tweets on summer break prove it. Keep reading to catch up on how our favorite Twitter parents are surviving the summer season.
1. ::regrets trip the beach::
[Day at the beach]
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 24, 2019
*Puts suits on kids, slathers them with sunscreen, makes sandwiches, packs cooler, packs beach bags, lugs 50 lbs or crap to beach, trudges over sand, lays out blanket, puts up umbrella, sets up beach chairs, *
6yo after 30 minutes: I wanna go back home
2. 🤦♀️
3. Have kids, they said.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of relaxing on the beach you can keep sand out of their mouth while I blow up a raft and they ask if there is a pool.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 18, 2019
4. So.much.laundry.
Welcome to summer with kids.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 4, 2019
You wash towels now.
That’s it.
That’s your whole identity.
5. On your mark, get set…
Instructor: Welcome to our summer with kids preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.
— Storm Junkie (@StormJunkie) July 1, 2019
6. Take it. Take it ALL!
Summer with Kids Day 1: No Screen Time.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) June 3, 2019
Day 2: 30 minutes of Screen Time.
Day 3. Here’s every password you need to know and Direct TV’s phone number. Take this iPad, this Kindle, here’s an Xbox and take my phone.
7. Truth.
I need a vacation
— The Dad (@thedad) July 7, 2019
-me, while on a vacation with my kids
8. It’s a rite of passage for a family vaycay.
Vacation memories before kids: Remember? That was the time we ate at that really great French restaurant and then sat on the beach as we watched the sunset.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) June 28, 2019
Vacation memories after kids:
Remember? That was the time everyone threw up and no one slept for like 96 hours.
9. Sounds about right.
My kids’ summer bucket list:
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) June 25, 2019
Visit a museum
Go night swimming
Stare at your phone all day
Refer to your mom as Uber
Stab your sister with a pair of scissors
10. YEP!
Summer with kids is 80% ice cream bribary and 20% ice cream bribary regret.#parenting
— Daddy Poppins (@DaddyPoppinsBlg) July 1, 2019
11. Ya’ll gon’ make us go all out.
It’s a DMX kind of summer. And by DMX kind of summer I mean these kids are gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) June 18, 2019
12. ALLLL summer.
The best part about taking kids to the beach is that you bring enough sand back with you to have your own beach on the floors of your home all summer long.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 1, 2019
13. Hey, we made it to day 10!
Summer Break, Day 10: The children ate gas station pizza and half a box of Cheez Its for dinner. We seem to be right on schedule.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) June 29, 2019
14. No summer slide in this house.
Working on our summer math skills like “How many times did you try to slap each of your brothers? Cool, now add those together and multiply by 9, then go to timeout and count to that number.
— MacgyveringMom22🍉 (@MacgyveringM22) July 2, 2019
15. ::gives up::
https://twitter.com/OrangeSchubert/status/1005969424883638273
16. 🤷♂️
Family vacations are just day after day of your kid begging to go back to the hotel so they can swim in the pool.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 13, 2019
17. So endless…
I used to love the song "Endless Summer Nights" until I realized that every night is endless once you have kids.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 13, 2019
18. The saga continues.
Day 39 of summer break:
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 9, 2019
My son is mad at me because I won’t let him use a chainsaw.
19. Crosses fingers…
7: Mom, I’m gonna do science in my room!
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 11, 2019
Me: (a month into summer break, asking no questions) ok
20. Seriously, what is with all the snacks!?
We were supposed to buy a house this summer but it looks like we’re just gonna buy snacks instead.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 3, 2019
-A summer break bankruptcy story.
21. Just gimme a salad.
I’ve reached the “I can’t stand the sight of another hotdog or hamburger” portion of summer.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) July 22, 2019
22. All is not well…
Summer Break, Day 38: The children have commandeered the hot glue gun.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) July 22, 2019
––Karly Wood
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