Let me start by saying that I’m not a single mom. Jon and I recently celebrated our ten year anniversary, yet whenever he is travelling away with work, or there’s a reason why we’re not together, I’m always more tired than when he’s here because we put equal effort in to bringing up our children. The mental teamwork into ensuring their health, happiness and inspiration levels is immense. As immense as sometimes the pressure feels when I’m winging it on my own for a week or a few nights. Systems have to naturally change to get everything done and I fall into bed exhausted.
So whether you’re a single mom, or whenever it’s the case that you have to function as if you are, I applaud you. I live in awe of you and I send you these…
You’re teaching your children so much about multi tasking it’s amazing
I’m a planner by nature, lists surround me and keep me sane. But with Jon away these become my lifeline. Noah and Ella pick up on that and when they’re not hiding them, they tend to ask: ‘What do we need to do first mommy?’ They’re learning about tasks and priorities without me really having to mention them. Multi-tasking, time management, being organised, you name it, we can all teach our children these but it’s on another level when you’re functioning as a single mom. Wow, your children are privy to all of this – they’re going to run the world!
You’re stronger than you think you are
Because you are. You’re doing the toughest job on the planet without a permanent helper. Even when your little ones get to the age where you can do your best Mary Poppin’s impression and attempt to get them to tidy their room or help out with the dishes, the reliance for any task can still fall on you in a moment’s notice. Have a hug of strength from me right now – feel the warmth flying over the digital airwaves to you in this moment.
You’re doing a great job
When you’re tired it’s easy to get depressed and feel like you’re failing. One thing will go wrong in the day – you’ll drop their lunch on the floor or you’ll forget to pack their soccer kit right and instantly the self-doubt and judgements flow through your mind. You’ve got to somehow be able to rationalize these things out – because no matter how seemingly perfect some other mom’s lives look, we all struggle with these nightmare days/weeks/years at some point on our journey through motherhood. At the end of the day if your children are healthy, happy and falling into bed healthy and happy after another day of just being young then you’re winning.
You’re beautiful inside and out and so are your children
Any mom who loves her children can’t help but glow when they smile. It’s compulsive! You’ve placed them in a happy environment so that they feel able to be themselves, shine, learn and grow so you should be smiling too. Take the compliment that you’re a beautiful soul, even if you feel like a beautiful mess inside, you’re not. You’re loving a human being and guiding them through life. Big job, big smiles for doing it.
You’re loving for two and that’s amazing
The overwhelming love that hits you when you look at your child, you’re feeling that for two people. I don’t buy that it’s one person less. You could love them enough for ten million people and still wake up the next day with more love inside of you. That’s the miracle of childbirth and having children to me. Where all this love comes from I don’t know, I just know that if you’re reading this it’s because you feel it. I’m sending out all of these positive love and hug vibes to every mom out there single or not, we may not know each other personally but we’re bonded by this love and respect. That’s powerful enough to move mountains for our children and also enough to make me stop typing now because I have to go and pick them up from school.
Charlie Dance
Tinybeans Voices ContributorI'm a working mommy, my family worked hard last year to create DiaryZapp - a creative journaling app where kids can boost their literacy and share memories every day - from making dens to going to the zoo. I love meeting other parents and sharing tips to make every day special.
