In a viral TikTok video, a therapist explained how siblings from toxic or abusive homes often end up being either “dandelions” or “orchids,” coping very differently with similar trauma
Siblings being polar opposites of one another is nothing new. But when they come from a toxic or abusive household and experience similar trauma, why is it that they can end up coping in such different ways? One therapist has an explanation about how children from toxic homes become either “orchids” or “dandelions” and it makes a lot of sense, TBH.
Judy Lee is a hypnotherapist who went viral on TikTok for her video explaining the idea of orchid children. She herself identifies as an “orchid child,” and in her video, posed the question, “Why is it that siblings with similar trauma cope differently?”
“If you were raised in an unsafe household and you have a brother or sister, I want you to ask yourself, ‘Is one of you guys way more sensitive than the other?'” she asks in the video.
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Sensitive, Lee clarified, doesn’t just mean emotionally sensitive—it can mean sensitive to foods, sounds, clothing, anything in your environment. She then goes on to say that she learned about this phenomenon in grad school.
“Somebody who is highly resilient in an abusive household is called a ‘dandelion child.’ They can basically thrive in any environment like the flower, the dandelion,” she explains. On the other end of the spectrum, there are “orchid children.” As Lee puts it, “They can actually wilt or wither away in an abusive environment or thrive and do really well in a positive one.”
Lee notes that on the surface, it might seem like one type of child is preferable. Who wouldn’t want a child resilient in all circumstances? But she explains that the names really fit: While the dandelion can bloom anywhere, the orchid is much more beautiful when it’s given the right environment to bloom. In children, this means that evidence shows that if the orchid child is removed from the unsafe environment and placed into a safe one, they can “surpass” the resilient dandelion child.
The important takeaway here?
“The moral of the story is that as ‘orchid children,’ it becomes doubly more important for us to find a beautiful community to be a part of,” Lee says.
