Picky eating is completely normal, and almost every kid goes through at least one or two (or three!) fussy phases during their toddler and preschool years. Even more comforting is the fact that a recent study attributed it partly to genetics. Still, it’s beyond frustrating when you work so hard to make a meal they’ll enjoy (and loved last week) only to be met with tightly sealed lips or a massive temper tantrum because their peas touched their carrots (gasp!). It’s also maddening when your tots seem to survive on nothing but bread and butter. However not all picky eaters are created equal, and there are actually quite a few different types of picky eating behaviors that require different strategies to encourage kids to eat. So we chatted with pediatric dietitian Katie Thomson, MS, RDN, CEO and co-founder of Square Baby, to break them down.
Before we dive in, keep in mind that parenting through picky eating can be incredibly frustrating—the kind of frustration that makes you want to pull your hair out and scream into a pillow (ugh!). So if you’re in the thick of it, we see you. The most important thing to remember is patience because these strategies won’t magically work overnight. You might not see a change for weeks or even months. Reversing behaviors, especially ones that have been around for a while, takes time. Be patient with your kids and, most importantly, with yourself.
1. Picky about textures
If your kid is picky about food textures, they’ll complain when their peaches are too mushy, their pasta is too “al dente,” or their applesauce has even the tiniest lump. These kiddos are super sensitive about consistency and just can’t stand how certain foods feel in their mouths. Thomson explains that strong personal preference or sensory processing issues might be at play here.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- Gradually introduce new textures by serving small portions alongside your child’s favorite foods. Think of it as exposure therapy, easing them into new textures alongside the ones they already love so they feel more comfortable.
- To vary textures, experiment with different cooking methods, like roasting, steaming, blanching, or air frying.
- Encourage your kiddo to play with different food textures away from the table. This can increase their comfort with new consistencies without the pressure to eat them. They can finger paint with purees, create fruit towers, or help you plant herbs in the backyard.
- Use descriptive language to talk about food textures and make them less intimidating. Instead of saying an apple is “hard,” try calling it “crunchy” or “strong” to help them warm up to the idea.
2. Picky about specific foods
If your child has a super restricted diet and only eats a handful of things, they might be dealing with anxiety around certain foods—whether it’s about the taste, texture, or just food neophobia (fear of trying new things). The foods they do eat are usually their “safe” or “accepted” choices, but with such a limited diet, they’re probably missing out on some key nutrients.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- Introduce new foods alongside their safe, accepted ones. Kids are more likely to try something new if they feel comfortable, and that comfort comes from having their safe foods nearby. If they’re only served new or previously rejected foods, they’ll feel uneasy and probably won’t want to eat anything.
- Get creative and present foods in a fun, new way. Cut cucumbers into half moons instead of sticks, offer orange bell peppers instead of red, or add a few new recipes (or spices!) to your repertoire.
- Try using the “food chaining” method, which Thomson describes as a way to slowly expand your kid’s diet by building on the foods they already enjoy. “It involves making small, gradual changes to familiar foods to introduce new flavors, textures, or food groups.” For example, if they love chicken nuggets, start with something similar like breaded fish sticks. Then, move on to grilled chicken strips and eventually grilled fish. Little by little, you can introduce more diverse proteins and cooking styles.
- Involve your child in grocery shopping and meal prep to help make unfamiliar foods feel less intimidating.
- Offer deconstructed versions of meals so your child can choose the parts they like best.
3. Beige eaters
If you’ve got a beige eater in tow, your kiddo is likely living off buttered noodles, bread, crackers, and rice. Kids gravitate toward these foods because they’re predictable and consistent. For example, every time you eat a slice of bread, it tastes the same—the same flavor, the same texture, and that familiar doughy goodness. But with something like a strawberry, it’s a whole different experience because there’s a bit of uncertainty: it could be sweet or tart, firm or mushy. The predictability of beige foods gives kids a sense of safety and comfort, which is why they’re way more likely to grab a handful of crackers than load up on a salad.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- Gradually introduce colorful foods, starting with pale colors and moving to brighter ones.
- Use colorful foods to make designs or shapes on plates, like a vegetable rainbow using different colored bell peppers.
- Serve nutritious beige foods like cauliflower, Asian pear, or roasted peeled zucchini with melted white cheese (yum!). After all, beige foods can be healthy, too.
Related: The Most Ingenious Picky Eater Food Hack Ever
4. Kids who prefer milk over solids
This behavior is pretty common with young toddlers, especially kids who have just turned one and are in the process of weaning. The issue is that kids tend to fill up on milk, leaving little room in their tiny bellies for solid food. “This can lead to nutritional imbalances and delay the development of chewing and swallowing skills,” Thomson explains.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- Although easier said than done, limit milk intake to 16 oz per day. Set a clear rule and stick to it (we promise it’ll become easier after a few days of being consistent).
- To ensure they have an appetite for solids, avoid offering milk right before or during a solid meal. Keep milk feeds separate.
- Instead of serving milk as a drink, try incorporating it into your cooking, like adding it to sauces or soups. You can also use dairy products like cheese or yogurt as an alternative.
5. Picky about food groups
Sometimes kids just decide to drop a few food groups, and we’re sure you can guess which are the most common culprits. Yup, veggies and animal proteins all the way. This pickiness might come from their aversions to certain textures or tastes, or even from past negative experiences, like tough, fatty pieces of meat or the rubbery texture of chicken.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- While we don’t want to trick our kids into eating anything, sometimes it’s helpful to incorporate nutritious ingredients into their foods to get the nutrients they need. You can mix pureed vegetables into pasta sauce and serve it over spaghetti or introduce smoothies with mild-tasting veggies like spinach or zucchini. Just remember, if your child asks about what’s in their food, it’s best to be honest. Building trust around food is super important.
- Involve your kid in preparing foods from the rejected food group. This can help them feel more familiar with these ingredients and more curious about trying them.
- You can turn rejected foods into more appealing options by pairing them with their go-to dips or sauces. For example, if they’re not a fan of chicken, serve it with their favorite zesty ranch dressing. There’s just something about dipping food that makes it way more fun for kids.
6. Picky about food presentation
If your kiddo throws a tantrum when their peas touch their carrots, they definitely fall into this category. These kids can be really fussy about how their meal is presented—whether it’s about their food touching, how it looks, or even how everything is arranged on their plate. “This can be related to sensory issues or a need for control over their environment,” says Thomson.
Thomson’s suggestions:
- One of the main goals is just getting your kids to eat. If they’re really picky about how their food looks, try using divided plates or bento boxes to keep everything separate. At least that way you have a better chance of them eating. You can also practice having foods touch during smaller meals, like snack time, or when they help you in the kitchen. Get them involved in baking because it involves lots of mixing and touching.
- Involve your kiddo in plating their own food to give them control over the presentation.
- Make food visually appealing with shapes, faces, or cute designs (like these!).
- Gradually introduce mixed foods in small portions alongside separately presented items.
Picky eating can definitely be a challenge, but remember that when you start implementing these strategies, you’re taking small, important steps toward change. Just be sure to respect their limits and never force anything. Oh, and don’t forget to celebrate those little victories, because each one brings you closer to the meals you’ve been dreaming of!
