You likely weren’t planning on getting a BOGO deal when you got pregnant, but that’s what happened. Now, your pre-baby life is a distant memory and everything is influenced by the multiples. Here’s a list of things that ought to ring true if you’ve brought two (or more) kids into existence at once. See if you agree with our 12 signs that you’re a parent of twin babies.
Photo: Jeff Saporito
1. Your house is starting to look like a daycare center.
Dude, where’s my floor? Twice the kids means you somehow seem to end up with four times the clutter. You only vaguely remember what the flooring underneath the pile of toys looks like.
Photo: waferboard on Flickr Creative Commons
2. Coffee is the new water.
Oh sweet, brown elixir of life. You’ve bought stock in Starbucks and feel personally responsible for keeping their share values up.
Photo: Russel Harrison Photography on Flickr Creative Commons
3. You don’t want to hear about single-baby problems.
“Awww yeah, you poor thing.” You try to act sympathetic when parents of just one baby talk about the difficulty of raising a child, but inside you’re sneering with envy.
Photo: Martin Thomas on Flickr Creative Commons
4. There is no such thing as running a quick errand.
See you in a few hours! Going on a day trip to grandma’s house looks like you’re moving.
Photo: The Other William and Kate
5. Getting them to sit still at the same time is an Olympic sport.
That’s as good as it gets. Whatever your worst nightmare used to be, it’s now attempting to take a civilized family photo.
Photo: Donnie Ray Jones on Flickr Creative Commons
6. You don’t remember what quiet sounds like.
At any given moment, at least one child is yelling, screaming, crying, not eating, throwing a tantrum, or pooping their pants.
Photo: Dylan Walters on Flickr Creative Commons
6. You never stop doing laundry. Never.
Just a minute, there’s only 8 loads left. Your children have 6,000 pieces of clothing. They’re all always dirty. Also, none fit.
Photo: Manda on Flickr Creative Commons
7. Your twins are a magnet for public affection and you can’t go anywhere without questions, oohs, ahhs and the dreaded baby pokes from strangers.
Oh no… they’re going to talk to us, aren’t they? You’ve been forced into extroversion because everyone in public feels the need to talk to you. However, you do now have a nice instant, unspoken rapport with other parents of multiples.
Photo: Brandon Grasley on Flickr Creative Commons
8. You’re going to lose it if one more person asks, “Are they twins?”
This has become your least-favorite combination of words in the history of language.
Photo: Diamond Farah on Flickr Creative Commons
9. You don’t need to go to the gym anymore.
You haven’t been to the gym in two years, but you keep getting stronger from hauling humans around. You call this hot new workout accidental weightlifting.
Photo: Jeff Saporito
10. You have bags and bags of used baby goods that you don’t want to throw out.
You have storage bags full of attempted-and-failed bottles, sippy cups and utensils that the kids wouldn’t use. You don’t want to toss them. They cost hundreds of dollars.
Photo: Jeff Saporito
11. The other question you’re tired of is, “Which one is older?”
Four minutes is not a big deal. They’re the same age. What they do with this information, you’ll never know.
Photo: Donnie Ray Jones on Flickr Creative Commons
12. You’re the luckiest.
You live in a world with extra smiles, extra giggles, and extra love – and it’s worth every minute of extra effort.
What can you add to our list of twin parenting facts? Tell us in a Comment.
–Jeff Saporito
