If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard my kids say, “Mom, I’m bored,” I’d be rich by now. Heck, all parents would probably be millionaires if we got paid every time we heard that phrase. And yes, while it can be a challenge not to try to keep your kids entertained or offer up screens as a way to fill the time, giving them a chance to sit with themselves, consider their surroundings, and figure out something to do on their own is one of the best things you can do for them.
“Boredom helps children develop planning strategies, problem-solving skills, flexibility, and organizational skills–key abilities that children whose lives are usually highly structured may lack,” explains Jodi Musoff, an education specialist with the Child Mind Institute.
The trick is that it isn’t the act of being bored that helps kids build these skills, it’s what they do with the open-ended time that matters. The other crucial factor is that you don’t help them figure it out. “It is not our job as parents to entertain our children,” writes Kurt Ela, Psy.D., in Psychology Today. “It is our job to support, educate, and nurture them. If we take on the role of constantly entertaining our children, we deprive them of the opportunity to learn this vital life skill on their own.”
So, as parents, how do we do this? How do we let our kids just be bored (without driving us crazy)? On her IG account @mindful_madre, Emily De La Torre, a mom of two and a marriage and family therapist, recently shared some of her favorite responses when her kids say “I’m bored”—and while the responses are short and sweet, they’re also pretty genius.
1. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.
This is a great response because you are engaging with your kids, but also empowering them to strengthen and use the decision-making skills they’ll need as they go through life. Plus, it’s a little challenge for kids to get creative and report back on what they end up doing.
2. Want to help me clean up?
This could go two ways. One, they run in the other direction and figure out what to do by themselves (a win in itself). Or two, they do help you, which gives them something constructive to do, teaches them the importance of being responsible for their things and their space, and, when the tasks are complete, allows them to feel a sense of accomplishment. All of which are great things.
3. I am sure you will figure something out.
Instead of dropping everything to entertain your kids, this response puts the ball back in their court and encourages them to think of something to do themselves.
Related: Letting Your Kids Be Bored Is Actually Good for Them
4. I wonder what you could do with that (insert item here).
If you want to get ahead of the complaining, create a list of activities, challenges, or long-term projects your kids can utilize when they need ideas. Keep cardboard boxes, crafting supplies, and sensory materials on hand, but let your kids take the lead when deciding what to do.
5. Hi, Bored!
De La Torre says this response came from her kids! And while it might throw yours off a bit, it’ll garner a few giggles, and it might also get a conversation started.
Try one of these responses the next time your kids want to be entertained. Yes, it might be hard to stay strong and not rush to fill your kids’ empty hours, but it’s worth the effort. “Let them wrestle with themselves and conjure up some creative juices. That will serve them for a lifetime,” says De La Torre.
