A Dictionary for Chicago Parents (& Anyone That Wants to Understand Them!)

Chicago’s unique vocabulary and insider references could fill up an entire dictionary. We figured it was time for an addendum just for you parents out there. Here’s a lesson in local lingo for Moms and Dads.

Dan Ryan
Everywhere else: Common names for dudes.
In Chicago: The clogged interstate where your little one conveniently decides to have meltdowns or diaper blowouts during rush hour.

photo: David Wilson via Flickr

Wiggleworms
Everywhere else: Kids that can’t sit still, no matter how many candy bribes their parents offer.
In Chicago: Old Town School of Folk Music’s music- and puppetry-filled classes that get babies and toddlers shaking their thang.

photo: Old Town School of Folk Music

The Jewels
Everywhere else: Precious gems.
In Chicago: Where you buy your groceries. Replace “The” with “Da” on the South Side.

 photo: Jewel-Osco Facebook page

Cubs & Sox
Everywhere else: Crosstown teams that typically need minor miracles to win.
In Chicago: A fandom choice you make for your child at birth. Switching sides or choosing Wisconsin is grounds for disownment.

photo: courtesy of a Red Tricycle reader

Babies, Tots n’ More
Everywhere else: What you see at a zoo, park or Yo Gabba Gabba! concert.
In Chicago: The twice-yearly consignment sale that’s so big, Moms have gone in and come back out hours later with bouncy seats, strollers and enough clothes to dress a small village.

photo: Babies, Tots n’ More Facebook page

Prentice
Everywhere else: An archaic word for “apprentice.”
In Chicago: The hospital where many bouncing babies are born.

photo: bradleypjohnson via Flickr

The Bean
Everywhere else: What’s usually left ignored on a kid’s dinner plate.
In Chicago: The shiny silver sculpture that your child left a nose print on, just before you took a family selfie.

photo: Cody Austin via Flickr

NPN
Everywhere else: A acronym for what sounds like some big fancy corporation.
In Chicago: A warm group of parents (Neighborhood Parents Network) that plan events for learning and fun.

photo: NPN via Alexis Staryk Photography

The El:
Everywhere else: The 12th letter in the alphabet.
In Chicago: The elevated train system you take with your kids — but only while clinging to hand sanitizer like it’s the key to the universe.

photo: discosour via Flickr

Bubbles
Everywhere else: What you can blow using soapy water and a wand.
In Chicago: Lincoln Park’s magical play space and education center that delights parents through the baby and toddler years. (See also: Little Beans Cafe, Purple Monkey Playroom, Kidville, Sod Room.)

photo: Bubbles Academy

Polar Vortex
Everywhere else: Something very cold.
In Chicago: Something very, very, extremely, overwhelmingly, need-three-snowsuits-and-omg-my-eyelashes-are-frozen cold.

photo: Rob Swystun via Flickr

Cheers
Everywhere else: What you say when you raise a glass.
In Chicago: A Facebook moms group that insiders rave about.

photo: Donnie Ray Jones via Flickr

Sue
Everywhere else: What you do when you want to take somebody to court.
In Chicago: The large bony T.rex that greets you in the lobby of The Field Museum.

photo: Kelly Aiglon

Magnet
Everywhere else: A piece of iron that attracts other iron-containing objects.
In Chicago: The type of school you become obsessed with getting your kid into when he or she is still in utero.

photo: Catherine via Flickr

The Suburbs
Everywhere else: Big yards, green grass, good schools, peace and quiet.
In Chicago: All of the above. Otherwise known as “way out there” and “the country” to city parents.

photo: LancerE via Flickr

The City
Everywhere else: Awesome architecture, exciting sports, beautiful lake, amazing museums.
In Chicago: All of the above. Otherwise known as “way out there” and “date night Mecca” to suburban parents.

photo: Nicolas Henderson via Flickr

Oak Park & Evanston
Everywhere else: Suburbs on the west and north side.
In Chicago: All of the above. Otherwise known as “still the city — really, we swear” to parents that live there.

photo: Eric Fredericks via Flickr

Do you have any additions to our dictionary? Let us know in the Comments!

— Kelly Aiglon