In a viral TikTok, a dad explains how he helps reduce the household mental load for his spouse before and after a work trip
It’s 2023, and by now we should all be aware of the concept of the mental load—how the responsibilities of raising kids and running a household go far beyond just physical tasks and how the burden of keeping up with it all almost always falls (unfairly) on wives and moms. That’s why this dad’s TikTok video is going mega-viral—in it, he describes all the things he does to help his partner with the mental load of running the house and taking care of the kids while he’s on a work trip. Dads (and less organized partners) everywhere: take notes.
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♬ original sound – World Shaker
“Reducing mental load for your partner is not just about when you’re in the house, it’s also when you’re out of it,” Michael Vaughn says in his video. “I’m about to leave for a conference for six days, and that means my partner’s getting 100 percent of the child responsibilities and the household responsibilities. She says she doesn’t mind, but I know it’s a lot.”
Vaughn goes on to outline all the things he does before leaving for his business trip to help ease the mental load on his partner while he’s gone.
“I vacuumed the house so she can start with clean floors. Washed and folded all the laundry so she can start with no clothes,” he explained.
He also did the dishes, pre-packed toddler lunches so Mom can just grab them out of the fridge, and put together five days of outfits for their toddler.
“For partners who don’t usually put together outfits for their kids, it’s not that simple. It’s not just about what matches or looks nice together. I looked at the weather report to base out these outfits, Wednesday is a light shirt and pants because it’s gonna be warm and it’s not gonna rain so they’ll be out in the playground. Friday will be cold so heavier pants, long sleeve T-shirt, and a sweatshirt,” he explained. We love to see a dad who’s this involved, even though it means the bar is on the ground.
Then, in addition to all those chores, Vaughn revealed that he booked his partner a night in a hotel for after he gets back from his trip, so she can have some time to herself to rest, relax, and recharge.
Listen, none of this is groundbreaking stuff. But we have such low societal expectations for dads and male partners that the comments section lit up with praise for Vaughn, who’s really just doing what any caring partner should.
“You need to do dad/household classes and I genuinely mean that,” one commenter wrote. Another chimed in, “I think I just fainted a little bit… the effort, the detail, the awareness with the hotel?!? This is beautiful. To feel loved like this…”
All this to say, of course, that our standards are too low. This kind of behavior should be a minimum expectation for your life partner—and Vaughn’s video really highlights how far we have to go to make that a reality.
