16 Punny Jokes & One-Liners for DC Kids

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Have you heard the joke about the cows at the White House? It’s a good one! Read on for 16 kid-friendly jokes inspired by all things Washington, DC, from the National Mall to DMV traffic. Let the pun begin!

photo: Liang T. via Yelp 

1. Why can’t you feed the animals at the Natural History Museum?

Because they’re already stuffed.

2. What is the tallest building in Washington, DC?

The Library of Congress because it has so many stories.

3. If you could put the entire DMV on a scale, what would it weigh?

A Washing-TON.

4. Why can’t you just go to one Smithsonian museum?

Because you have to see the Mall.
photo: Pixabay

5. What kind of toast do they serve on Air Force One?

Plane toast.

6. Why did the secret service bring a herd of cows to the White House?

They were trying to beef up security.

7. Why was George Washington always tired?

He never slept because he couldn’t lie.

8. What was George Washington’s spirit animal?

A buck.

9. If Abe Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for?

Being really, really old!

10. What do you call the 16th President after a Staring Contest?

Abe Blinkin.
photo: Ivana Cajina via Unsplash 

11. Where can you always find free parking in DC?

On 495 during rush hour.

12. What do you call grape jelly on I-66?

Traffic jam.

13. Why was the squirrel late for work?

Traffic on the beltway was nuts.
photo: Washington Nationals Park

14. Why did the Washington Nationals hire a baker?

They needed a new batter.

15. What animals likes to hang out at Nationals Park?


16. How do the zebras at the National Zoo play baseball?

Three stripes and you’re out!
––Meghan Yudes Meyers
featured photo: Flickr

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