Ed Sheeran Reigns as King Of The Friend Zone

The “Friend Zone” is the worst possible space to be in.

Picture this: You have a best friend. You spend 99% of your time with this person. You do pretty much everything other couples do, in fact most people think you guys may have something cooking on the sly. You LOVE this person…but only as a friend of course. This person is your safety snugger, your hook-up confidante, your back up date to weddings, work events and reunions.  There is no sexual attraction whatsoever between the two of you. The problem is that only YOU feel this way.

In the Friend Zone the other person in question is actually deeply in love with you. They would walk across hot coals just to kiss your face and lie down on a bed of nails if that meant that they could call you their girlfriend. People in the Friend Zone love you SO much that they are not willing to take a chance at professing their love for you and upsetting the delicate balance that is your relationship.

Being in The Friend Zone is better than nothing…right? Wrong!

photo: NPR 

Let’s take a look at The King Of The Friend Zone, Ed Sheeran.

Ed Sheeran is the musical songwriter and singer behind every other song that you hear on the radio these days. He is so cool in fact that he is hard core besties with little Miss Queen of the Hot pants and Heartbreaks, Taylor Swift. Tay loves hanging with her BFF. Ed just plain old loves Taylor….like really, really loves her. These two exhibit textbook Friend Zone behavior.

Awwww, just look at them. Taylor looking all Posh and done up to the nines and Ed looking… like Ed. If you ever want to make it out of the Friend Zone Ed you are going to have to lose the choker necklace, because that is weird. Those fiery locks of yours need a serious overhaul as well. Some guys can pull of the disheveled look off. Not you, Ed.

Here we have Tay and her sexy boyfriend Calvin Harris…and Ed. This is one of the worst cases of “Third Wheel Syndrome” that I have ever witnessed. I wonder if the lovebirds have Ed go on up to the hotel room first and lay rose petals out of the bed for them. Move on, Ed.

This is cringe worthy. I think he attempting cool here, but it is a major fail. You can not be sexy in over-sized, camo, cargo shorts doing that creepy little move that you are doing. Like this is why you are in the Friend Zone, Ed!

Taylor: Thanks for playing on tour with me, Ed.

Ed: I have computerized images of what our children will look like. I mean… you’re welcome.

Ed, I am gonna go out on a limb and say that this right here is the closest you will ever be to getting into Taylor’s jeans.

Taylor: Oh Ed!  I am never going to find someone a loyal as you. Let’s promise to just get married if we are both still single when we turn 35.

Ed: I already have the countdown going, and can I get that in writing?

This guy is never, EVER leaving the Friend Zone.