This week we’re living our best life with kids: navigating Spring Break, trying to keep enough snacks in stock and all the other things that come with raising tiny humans. If you’re in the trenches and need a mini-break, kick back with our roundup of funny tweets and know that you’re not in it alone!
1. No, no you do not.
If your child hasn’t had 4 costume changes, 17 snacks, 1 failed nap, and 2 meltdowns in the last 30 minutes, do you even have a toddler?
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) March 30, 2019
2. SNACKS.
My kids’ favorite meal is… HA HA HA JK – they don’t eat meals, they only want snacks.
— Unfiltered Mama 💗✌️ (@UnfilteredMama) April 1, 2019
3. Truth.
Parenting through the years:
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 1, 2019
1st kid: Organic food only
2nd kid: “McDonald’s once in a while isn’t so bad.”
3rd kid: “Did he just eat dog food? I’m sure he’s fine.”
4. 🙄
Kid: I don’t want help.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) April 1, 2019
Kid: I don’t want help.
Kid: I don’t want help.
Kid: I don’t want help.
Kid: I don’t want help:
Kid: I NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT THIS SECOND. WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME?
Kid: I could have done it myself.
5. Can’t be greedy!
You can enjoy a nice dinner, or you can eat together as a family. You cannot have both.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) April 1, 2019
6. Because, kids.
“Your hair is not a napkin” is something I say now, apparently.
— Mom.Whine.Repeat (@MomWhineRepeat) April 3, 2019
7. #dadlife
He died doing what he hated most – tripping over one of his son's toy trucks and falling down the stairs of an overly-warmed house with too many lights on.
— dADDisms (@Beagz) April 3, 2019
8. Goals.
We are getting an IKEA in my town shortly which is great because it gives me an entirely new place to lose my kids in public.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 2, 2019
9. The truth about game night:
Family game night is my favorite way to become incensed with rage towards both my family and games.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) April 3, 2019
10. When you don’t want to go to school…
I hope your morning is better than my daughter's, who desperately wishes she had been bitten by a vampire so that she could stay home from school.
— That Pesky Prostitüt™ (@LittleMissAngr1) April 4, 2019
––Karly Wood
photo: Ryan McGuire via Gratisography; composite by Karly Wood for Red Tricycle
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