30 Totally Funny Things Moms Say (You Know You Have!)

Olu Famule via Unsplash

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›Whether you’re threatening to turn the car around or telling the kids not to kick the ball in the house for the hundredth time, motherhood means saying things you never thought you would. When we’re not dreading sounding like our own moms, some of the things we end up saying on a daily basis are actually pretty funny. We asked our readers and editors to share their daily mantras, and here’s what they had to say.

We Sound Like Our Moms

“Because I’m the mom, that’s why!” –Tami R. 

“Because I said so.” –Kari S. 

“I’ll give you something to cry about.” –Debbie H.

Wait ’til your father gets home.” –Tracey L. 

“Watch your mouth young lady (man) or I’ll get the soap.” –Linda M.

“When you pay the bills then you can….(insert whatever they want)…” –Julie J.

October birthday

Clothing Not Optional

“You need to wear underwear when people come over to the house!” –Kristen H.

“What happened to your pants?” or “where did your pants go?” –Keiko Z.

“Please put some pants on!” –Sara S.

“Why are you always naked!?!” –Laura L.


Because Kids Are Gross

“How do those boogers taste?” –Gabby C.

“Do not lick mommie!” –Teri P.

“Who peed on the seat?!” –Kristi F.

“No, I don’t want to wipe your butt for you.” –Amber G.

“Use toilet paper! It’s not optional!” –Bonnie C.

“Where are you planning to put that booger?” –Chinae G.

Bruno Cervera

It’s All About Self-Care

I need some me time please get out of my room.” –Sawyer F.

“Can I please 💩 alone?!?!?” –Amanda B.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” –Jacqui B.


Our Fave Mommisms

“Don’t kick the ball in the house.” –Erin C. 

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.” –Laura G.

“Eat your food! There are starving people in other countries.” –Flordeliza D.

“Slam that door one more time and I’m taking it OFF!” –Stephanie M.

“I brought you into this world and I can take you out!🤣” – Lina G. 

I’m gonna count to three …. 1 … 2…” –GregKrichelle D. 

Though Catalog via Unsplash

Just Darn Funny

“I’m getting my chancla!” –Luz A. 

“You’re not the boss of me!” –Kristen L.

“I’m not your servant!” –Caroline F.

“Get your hands out of your pants.” –Dawn W.

“Is this poop or chocolate?” –Kelly B.



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20 Hilarious Things Our Kids Have Said because We All Need a Laugh

The Beautiful, Messy Life of Motherhood



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