We’ve Been Using Straws the Wrong Way This Whole Time

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Some things in life need little explanation and, for most of us, how to use a juice box is one of them. You pop the sharp end into the little hole and adjust the flexible corner bit to best fit to your mouth’s position, which can change depending on whether you’re sitting on the couch, lying down in bed (don’t judge), or trying to wrangle your toddler into a car seat whilst simultaneously trying to hydrate them with sugar water.

But Twitter user HLUB decided to turn our lives upside down (literally) by posting a side-by-side picture of a juice box straw turned the other direction, so the angled end is in the box itself for maximum juice consumption. His original post (now deleted; more on that in a minute) was captioned: “My whole life has been a lie,” which was quickly picked up by E! News.

E! News dropped the meme with the caption: “Hold our Minute Maid—Drop your thoughts below,” and people did just that.

Some were unconvinced with the new method, worried the sharp bit would injure its users. “It wouldn’t have the sharp end on the mouth part if this was right,” and the ever-honest response: “The straws I remember had a pointy end on the long part of the straw to pierce the hole on the juice carton… if that pointy end was sticking upwards that definitely would have caused me, as a child, a few injuries.”

Another said she tried it for the rest of us and didn’t have much luck, saying, “It doesn’t work, I’ve tried it with my kids juice boxes.”

Others felt like this was a life hack they’d been waiting for and needed to try it immediately. “Now I need to reevaluate my whole life,” one person wrote. Another took things a little further, writing, “My whole life was pure lie.” Still, another had more questions than answers, writing, “Wait – what – how.”

Now for the good part. Members of the internet police decided this was a meme that needed further investigation and collectively came to the conclusion that the straw debate was “false information,” taking down the original tweet.

Apparently, much like all of 2016-2020, the need to crack down on false information and fake news now extends itself to juice boxes. What a time to be alive.

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