Jim Gaffigan is here to dole out some words of wisdom you won’t find from anyone else: it doesn’t get better, it gets worse. The comedian and dad of five “not young” children has long been known to regale his audiences with tales of horror about life with kids, and he’s not about to stop.
In a hilariously honest segment on the CBS Sunday Morning show, Gaffigan admits that everyone was right about missing life with littles. The man who once grumbled about life with young’ens is admitting that he had it pretty good, because now some of those same kids are teens. “I was wrong, dead wrong. Having five young children was a beautiful thing. I know that now because I presently have five not young children and my life is absolutely horrible.”
Like every parent in the trenches, Gaffigan was just trying to get to the next benchmark of no diapers. When people would tell him to enjoy the time, they thought they had no boundaries. Now he realized they were “bestowing a warning” to him: “that every adorable toddler eventually transforms into a tormenting teen executing the karmic revenge of our own parents.”
What makes Gaffigan as funny as he is is that while his stories are coated in a thick layer of humor, truth strongly resides underneath. Yes, teens smell horribly and often worse than the diaper years. They leave messes and mornings are tantamount to the “fall of Saigon.” It’s probably for the best that we don’t know what lays beyond the cribs and bottles until we get there.
While Gaffigan’s bit is clearly tongue-and-cheek humor, we can’t help but laugh––because if we didn’t we’d be crying. Raising teens is no joke.
If you need more Jim Gaffigan in your life, you can catch his new comedy special, Comedy Monster on Netflix.
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