A TikTok is going understandably viral after one mom hit on an important and frustrating part of motherhood, one that’s often misunderstood. “Mom rage.”
Libby Ward, the content creator behind Diary of an Honest Mom, talked about the issue of “mom rage,” and how society often labels it as such when, in reality, the expectations placed on moms are frustrating and deserving of anger.
“Maybe it’s not ‘mom rage.’ Maybe it’s that mom is doing everything for everybody else and is having her needs met less than everyone else in the house,” Ward starts her video. “All while society tells her to ‘calm down,’ and ‘shut up,’ because this is motherhood and you chose this anger,” she continued. “And that anger is valid and necessary.”
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♬ original sound – Libby Ward
Ward hits on such an important point. Motherhood is a joyful experience. It’s also isolating, frustrating, lonely at times, and leaves you doubting yourself more than you’d imagined. It’s all-consuming, and because women are often seen as the primary caregiver, the burden of our child’s happiness and success is put on our shoulders. None of this is fair or deserving, but when we speak out about it, we’re seen as complaining about something we should enjoy 100% of the time. It’s not sustainable or realistic.
“We need to stop treating all anger from women and moms as if it’s a mental health issue,” Ward said. “We’re allowed to be angry about things that are unfair and unequal.”
She talks about mothering like you don’t “have a job,” being the default parent, and the societal inequalities around childcare and maternity leave, and these are all valid points. But if we dare to speak out, we’re seen as ungrateful.
“I made a video on mom rage because I have noticed a trend from women who are struggling in motherhood: they look inside themselves and feel they are not enough,” Ward told Motherly. “Meanwhile there are a multitude of legitimate outside factors that are making women burn out, get angry and feel resentful. Women from all walks of life are trying to find ways to feel better and no matter what they seem to do they are still not okay.”
