21 Pirate Jokes for Your Little Mateys

Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19 and we’ve got all the best pirate jokes to get your day off to a hilarious start. These kid-friendly jokes are full of puns and will have you laughing all day!


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1. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.

2. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting pirate.

Interrupting piryarrrrrr!

3. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr 

No, it be the C! (Sea).

—A hilarious 6-year-old reader. 

4. What is a pirate’s favorite body part?
The booty!

—C.J., age 9

5. How do you save a dying pirate?
CPArrrrrrrrr

6. What’s a pirate’s favorite fish?
The Swordfish. 

Pirate Treasure Hunt
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7. What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? 
Termites.

8. What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?
Captain Hooky.

9. Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet? 
Because they spend years at C. 

10. Where do pirates buy their hooks? 
The second hand store.

11. What did the pirate say when he left his wooden leg in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!

12. What do you call a pirate with two legs and two eyes?
A newbie. 

13. Knock knock
Who’s there? 
Garden.
Garden who?
I’m garden the treasure! 

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14. What has 6 arms, 6 legs and 6 eyes? 
6 pirates. 

15. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved. 

16. What did the pirate wear on Halloween?
A pumpkin patch.

17. Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? 
Because they were standing on the deck.

18. Where’s a pirate’s favorite breakfast joint?
IHOP. 

19. How much was the pirate’s treasure worth?
Well, it cost him an arm and a leg.

20. What is the pirate’s favorite store?
The second-hand shop.

21. Why is pirating addictive?
Once you’ve lost your first hand, you’re hooked!

—Jokes 19-21 from Amanda

—Kate Loweth

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