17 Hilarious Jokes About Portland

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Want to put a smile back your your kids’ faces? Get them laughing with a little word play. Nothing shifts a post-back-to-school bad mood like sharing some cheesy jokes. But we’re not talking about slinging just any joke, Your Portland kiddos will love learning some new Portland jokes. We’ve rounded up our favorites for you. Read on to find out more.

photo: victoria via pexels

1. What do you call two straight days of rain in Portland?

A weekend.

2. What do you call a week without rain in Portland?


3. What did the Portland kids say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?

Nice tan!

4. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Oregon Zoo Predators of the Serengeti Exhibit?


photo: Oregon Zoo via yelp

5. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the sand?

Nothing, it just waved.

6. What did the seashell at Long Beach say to the fish?

Call me on my shell phone.

7. Which Blazer player can jump higher than a house?

All of them—houses can’t jump at all.

8. What does a fish at Oregon Coast Aquarium say after sharing a new idea?

Let minnow what you think.

photo: Karen K. via Yelp

9. What does daylight-saving time mean in Portland?

An extra hour of rain.

10. What gear was the woman in when she wrecked her car? 

Nike of course!

11. Why is Santa thinking about moving to Portland?

Because of all the rain, dear.

12. Heard any good jokes about the Cascades?

Yes, they are hill areas.

13. Why can’t Mt. Hood and Mt. Bachelor play hide and seek?

Because they like to peak.

14. In what state does the Willamette River flow?


15. How do the zebras at the Oregon Zoo play baseball?

Three stripes and you’re out!

16. What do you call a witch who lives at Cannon Beach?

A sand-wich.

17. Why was the squirrel late for work?
Traffic was NUTS
—Annette Benedetti