The Care and Feeding of a Pet Rock (In 4 Easy Steps)

You’ve scoured rocky shores and wooded glens (or maybe just the hardware store) for the perfect pet rock for your little one and spent the morning customizing it with googly eyes and faux fur. But what do you do with it now that it is home? Read on for the four easy steps to keeping your new family pet happy.

Photo by: Eamon Brett via flickr

Step 1: A Rock By Any Other Name

If you haven’t already named your creation, you can never go wrong with variations on famous names, e.g. Sharon Stone, BaRock Obama, Pebbles, George Washingstone, Granite Jackson, Agent Boulder…you get the idea.

Step 2: A Room of One’s Own

Your pet rock needs a place of its own to escape the daily grind. You can trick out a shoebox or make a LEGO bed on a shelf. Rocks with pull might even get into a Barbie house. Tip: they are fond of rocking chairs.

Step 3: Boulder Flavors

You must feed your rock. A rock’s favorite food is pea gravel. They are also fond of quartz of milk, always best served from a mason jar. The great news is you only need to feed them about once a week so the food lasts forever. Once a year, treat them to the Hard Rock Cafe if there’s one near you. 

Step 4: Rock ‘n’ Roll

Rocks love music! You must sing to your rock at least once a week or more.  If you prefer, you can play them songs including these favorites:

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (Beatles)
Steppin’ Stone (Monkees)
Rock n’ Roll High School (Ramones)
Love Me Like a Rock (Paul Simon)
It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll (or anything by the Rolling Stones)
Rock It (Queen)
Papa Was a Rolling Stone (The Temptations)

If you follow these simple instructions, your rock will last you (literally) a life time. Rock on!

What did you name your pet rock? Share it with us in the comments section below.

—Amber Guetebier