Viral TikTok Explains Why You Don’t Owe Toxic Parents a Relationship with Your Kids

Gianna Valenti/TikTok

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When a TikTok video starts with “I’m going to say something that will stir the pot, and I don’t care because I wholeheartedly believe in it,” you know it’s going to be good. That’s how @gianna_valenti kicked off a now viral video about toxic family members that people can’t help but agree with.

The mom to one doesn’t mince words when it comes to her thoughts: “If you do not have a strong stable happy loving genuine relationship with someone in your family and your in-laws’ family, then there’s no reason they need to have a relationship with your child.”


Reply to @alixandstephen just a reminder ❤️ #fyp #foryou #momsoftiktok #momtok #anxiousmom #boundaries #toxicfamily

♬ original sound – Gianna

As the old adage goes, “hurt people, hurt people,” but there’s just no room for that when it comes to keeping our kids safe from toxic relationships. But let’s be honest, it’s much easier said than done––especially if you’ve grown up with those same people coloring your view of what a healthy relationship is your entire life.

As someone who had to draw strong boundaries with my own extended family, I can say that it took years for me to process that I was doing the right thing by keeping the emotional manipulation away from my child. No, I wasn’t keeping her from her grandparents––I was preventing the same emotional harm they had inflicted on my husband growing up from happening to her.

Like Gianna says in her video, “If you don’t trust someone with your own heart why would you trust them with your kids?” And viewers tend to agree.

The video has amassed over 250k views, 28k likes and lots of encouraging comments like “you can’t have a healthy relationship with an unhealthy person. a game changer when it was put it in that perspective! i’m w you!” and “We just had this exact conversation with our children as to why we don’t see certain family members. If they’ve hurt me why would I allow them access to my children? I’m not giving them the chance to hurt my kids.”

While it’s sad to see so many followers share that they too have toxic relationships, it’s encouraging that each one values breaking the cycle for the sake of their kids.


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