10+ Hilarious Yet True Tweets about Toddlers

Toddlers: keeping parents on their toes since the beginning of time.

By Karly Wood October 4, 2019

If there’s one thing that’s universally true about parenting, it’s that toddlers keep you on your toes! The post-baby and pre-big kid years can be tough, but toddlers are equal parts joy and menace. Keep reading to see some hilarious, yet all too true tweets about toddlers.

1. Slow and steady wins the race.

I decided to take my toddler for a walk around the block last week. We are almost home.
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) August 5, 2019

2. For real.

I wish someone had as much care and genuine concern for me as my toddler does for her muffin when it falls on the floor.
— Marissa 💚💛🌱 (@michimama75) August 6, 2019

3. 🙄🙄🙄

Having a toddler is…

“Mommy needs to poop”

Toddler: “Okay, I want to watch”

😑
— Your Mom (@modernmomese) August 6, 2019

4. You’ll be in shape in no time.

My new workout plan just involves stopping whatever I’m doing when my toddler throws a tantrum and doing a plank until she stops.
— Nacho Therapist (@charlieluffagus) September 24, 2019

5. The force is strong with this one.

My toddler is walking around the house humming The Imperial March and if toddlers don't scare you they should because this is scary.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 12, 2019

6. Fair question.

My recent visit to the Niagara Falls was dominated by a toddler asking me what time they were turning the water off.
— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) September 23, 2019

7. Samesies.

You can either teach your toddler to help with chores, or you can drive a burning car while being shot at with your hands tied behind your back.

It’s basically the same thing.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) September 23, 2019

8. Time will tell.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I think toddlers can actually kill you.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) September 23, 2019

9. Is that so much to ask?

I just want as much control over my life as my toddler has over it.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 26, 2019

10. Beat ya to it!

Assert your dominance by throwing the TV remote into the sink.
-My toddler.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 26, 2019

11. True happiness!

I thought I was happy and then I saw my toddler discover how pockets work and I realized I don’t know what happiness is.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) September 13, 2019