It’s no surprise that the grocery store is a minefield of toddler meltdown triggers, from the donuts in the bakery department to the chocolate bars somehow placed perfectly at kids’ eye level in the checkout lane. But other than resorting to Instacart for the entirety of their childhood, there’s not much we can do to avoid trips to the supermarket with the kids in tow.
Most parents lay down a few “no” statements or threats before heading in: Don’t touch anything and don’t ask me to buy anything. But parenting coach Destini Anne Davis suggests a way to reframe the experience to give your kids a purpose: “Let’s focus on what they can do rather than what they can’t do. Give them a task.”
@destini.ann Class this sunday!
♬ original sound – Destini Ann
“When we go in this store, you’re going to be the number navigator,” Davis offers as an example of a task she’d assign her child. “I need you to put your binoculars on. And when I say bread is on aisle three, you’re in charge of finding it. That is your job.” Or another option: “You’re the purple person. Every aisle we go [down], it is your job to point out two purple things.”
Related: 8 Phrases to Bring a Toddler Back from the Brink
The sheer boredom of grocery shopping has kids looking for something to do (honestly, we don’t blame them), and by assigning them a role, you’re helping them to stay focused on a positive behavior instead of always asking for a treat. “If you have a child that experiences big feelings, rather than always waiting on the back end and trying to help them process those feelings, it is important for us to curate positive experiences as well. And the grocery store typically isn’t a positive experience,” Davis says. “So it’s okay to trick their brains into focusing on something enjoyable, on something that makes them feel empowered, autonomous.”
If you’re looking for another way to mix things up at the grocery store, let your toddler “drive” the cart by turning it around so they are facing forward instead of backward. This simple trick makes them more engaged in the task at hand and (hopefully) less likely to have an epic meltdown.
