This woman wants to know if she’s the jerk for taking a planned couple’s trip alone after her husband didn’t hold up his end of the planning bargain
Anyone who’s ever gone on vacation knows how much work it is to relax. Planning a trip is a huge undertaking—from finding hotels to planning activities and making restaurant reservations, buying flights, researching the weather, planning outfits, and the list goes on. That’s why today’s entry from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” forum has the internet pretty heated. A woman is asking if she was wrong for going on a trip alone after her husband dropped the ball on his part of the planning, and, well, you’re going to want to read this one for yourself.
“My husband (32m) and I (29f) planned a week vacation to New Orleans (in the US). We (but mostly I) have been planning this for months,” the OP (original poster) began. “Back in March, I told him I would plan most of it, where to go, and what to do, all he has to do was make sure he had the week off and buy the plane tickets. I spent the last few months researching what to do. I booked the hotel room, made reservations at places we wanted to try, [and] made a list of all the sites I wanted to see.”
She continued, “Every few weeks, I would check in with my husband to see if he had asked off and bought the tickets yet, he would say he was waiting for the plane ticket prices to go down. Three weeks ago, I reminded him again and he said he had got off of work for the days but had forgotten to get the tickets. He looked online and the tickets were close to $1500/ticket. He said he was going to wait some more to see if they would go down.”
If you’re like me, you get anxiety just from reading this. But OP trusted her husband—all the way up to the week before the trip, when she checked in again, only to find he still hadn’t bought the plane tickets as he promised.
“Last week, I asked if he had bought them yet and he said no. We looked again and the prices were still high,” she wrote. “He said he wasn’t willing to spend that much on them and asked how much money I would lose if I just canceled everything instead. He offered to have a nice staycation instead. I told him I was not willing to cancel everything because I spent so much time planning it. We argued and we didn’t come to a conclusion. I wound up buying just one ticket for myself and when I flew out Saturday, I told him I was still going and he acted all surprised that I didn’t want to stay home with him.”
Good for her. She ended the post, “I am in New Orleans now and he is blowing up my phone saying that I am an AH for still going without him. He was trying to get a ticket to come too but I told him if he came, he is getting his own hotel room because this is now my vacation away from him. AITA?”
I know where I fall on this. Congratulations to OP for leaving her heaviest baggage at home and enjoying the trip she planned and had been looking forward to for months. Most of the commenters agree with me.
“I don’t know wtf your husband’s deal is but he acted like a real a**hole,” the top-voted comment said. “I don’t know if he deliberately sabotaged the trip or just didn’t care enough to follow through on his tiny piece of things, but you were absolutely right to not let him ruin the trip for you, and be sure as hell shouldn’t be booking an expensive plane ticket to come join you now. I hope he’ll be ready with a massive apology when you get home.”
Another highly rated comment read, “He literally had 2 tasks and plenty of time to complete them, plus reminders. I’d honestly be irritated that he dropped the ball and then didn’t own up to it by buying the tickets at the high price. Consider that a procrastination tax and a lesson.”
Not everyone was on the same page, though. A few commenters felt like both the OP and her husband were at fault.
“ESH. Probably should’ve spent the money on divorce lawyers instead, because this is where it’s headed. Do you guys even like each other? Lol,” one wrote. “Both acting pretty childish and immature for being married. This marriage is on its way out if you’re not already planning a divorce.”
Where do you stand? Personally, I hope the time apart gave this couple some time to reflect on what was a serious breakdown—but at the end of the day, it was the husband who dropped the ball, not OP. She held up her end of the bargain, so she’s not the one at fault here.