Is there anything more ubiquitous to new parenthood than exhaustion? Well, maybe poop. So much poop. But beyond that, the lack of sleep is a challenge. While there’s nothing tired moms and dads can do about a newborn’s sleep schedule—middle-of-the-night feeds are crucial for those tiny growing bodies—there are other issues that actually have solutions. Like when your kiddo has their days and nights mixed up, or they can’t get their paci back into their mouth at 3 a.m. So what can you do when your little one’s lack of sleep causes both of you to cry inconsolably? We asked experts about the most common baby sleep problems and how to solve them. Here’s what they had to say.
Day/Night Confusion
Why does your baby sleep all day and want to party all night? One of a newborn’s most common sleep issues is simply confusing daytime and nighttime. This won’t come as a surprise since they’ve spent most of their existence in a dark womb, but there’s more to it.
“Babies experience day/night confusion because their sleep circadian rhythms are not yet developed,” says Arielle Greenleaf, owner and pediatric sleep consultant at Expect to Sleep Again Sleep Consulting. “Newborns also do not produce melatonin, so there is no biological drive to distinguish between night and day.”
Greenleaf says this sort of confusion is most common until around 6-8 weeks, but there are ways you can help your baby figure it out.
What to do:
“Keep daytime bright and at a normal volume, but make nighttime dark and quiet,” she says. “Getting your baby outside into the sunlight during the day is an excellent way to help these circadian rhythms mature, as the ability to distinguish between day and night is driven by exposure to light and darkness.”
And though we’ve all been told you should never wake a sleeping baby (myth alert), Greenleaf recommends waking them every 2 hours throughout the day, especially if they’re sleeping long stretches in the daylight hours. “This will encourage them to both eat more frequently during the day and get more stimulation during the day,” she says.
Related: A Nurse Shares Her Top Tip for Better Baby Sleep
Sleep Regression
A sleep regression is a period in which a baby’s sleep habits change, going from a steady amount of sleep to suddenly sleeping less, waking more (especially at night), and having overall trouble getting their Zzzs, according to Cleveland Clinic.
“It’s most common between 8-12 months but can occur as early as 3 months,” says Dr. Victoria Regan, a pediatrician at Children’s Memorial Hermann in Houston. That said, what a sleep regression looks like overall depends on the child. “Any change in routine, especially if the baby fails to get their nap, may initiate sleep regression,” she explains.
What to do:
These regressions generally last a week or two, especially if you do all you can to get your infant back on track. Just like with day/night confusion, you’ll want to expose your baby to more light in the morning and daytime, darkness in the evenings, and stick to a routine as much as possible (Regan recommends something like feeding, bathing, reading, and then bedtime).
“The other common reason (for a sleep regression) for slightly older infants (8-12 months) is separation anxiety,” adds Regan. “They may fear a parent is ‘abandoning’ them.” This is right around the time when it’s a great idea to help your kiddo slowly develop self-soothing skills.
Teething and Other Pain-Related Troubles
When baby’s got new teeth pushing through, it can wreak havoc on their lives, from feeding and overall mood to that precious sleep routine you’ve established. While they cut their first tooth anywhere from 3 to 7 months, the overall fussiness that teething brings can return every few weeks as more teeth pop out.
What to do:
“Soothe their gums with something cool like a cool washcloth before bed,” says Regan. Additionally, you can offer your baby things to chew on like rubber teething rings, though experts say to avoid ones with liquid in them. Since teething usually comes with a whole lot of drool, it’s a good time to start throwing a bib on your babe and try to wipe their face regularly to avoid a teething rash.
Every baby experiences teething pain differently; some cut a tooth without parents even realizing while others spend a week or two fussing as it comes in. “If [teething] happens frequently, you may need to give medication for pain such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen (only if 6 months or older),” adds Regan. However, she and other experts agree that you should avoid teething tablets, creams, and gels.
Related: Month-by-Month Sleep Tips for the Wild First Year
Pacifier Problems
If your baby uses a pacifier, you may have occasionally noticed that when they fall asleep sucking on the paci, they sometimes wake up once it falls out of their mouth. “This is a very common occurrence,” says Greenleaf. “Many parents share that they are playing ‘paci pong’ all night.”
What to do:
If this happens frequently in your household, Greenleaf says it may be time to ditch the pacifier. “The earlier you can drop the paci, the easier it will be for everyone. As babies near toddlerhood, they become more dependent on the paci and it is much harder to get rid of it.”
Try weaning your baby off the pacifier gradually, limiting it to naptime only, and offering other soothing methods, like rocking them to sleep without it.
Illness-Related Sleep Issues
Having a sick baby is miserable for everyone involved, especially your little squish who has no idea what’s going on. “When babies are sick, sleep can be a struggle—especially when they are congested or dealing with a cough,” says Greenleaf.
What to do:
“I always recommend comforting sick babies however they need to be comforted in order to prioritize sleep,” stresses Greenleaf. She and Regan both recommend cool mist humidifiers to ease nasal congestion and help with drainage. “Suctioning the baby’s nose before bed may (also) provide some relief,” adds Regan.
Sticking to your overall sleep schedule can be helpful here, but Greenleaf advises following their cues and allowing them to rest when needed if they seem to be extra tired during their illness. “But do try to wake them throughout the day to nurse or take a bottle to keep them hydrated,” she adds.
Whether it’s a cold, flu, or a gastrointestinal bug, our experts both recommend working with a pediatrician for further treatment, including determining if further testing or medication is needed to help your little one through their sick spell.
Self-Soothing Woes
You’ve probably spent some time singing, rocking, bouncing, or nursing your baby to sleep—maybe even multiple times throughout the night—but they eventually need to learn to self-soothe so they can get back to sleep without you whenever they wake. This is where sleep training comes into play for some families, though what that looks like will highly depend on your baby’s needs and your family’s approach.
Related: How the 5 Most Popular Sleep-Training Methods Work
What to do:
Whatever you decide, Greenleaf reassures parents that it’s never too soon to try to put baby down into their crib or bassinet awake. This is a simple way to kick off your baby’s new skill set. Go through your nap or bedtime routine (whether it’s feeding, singing, rocking, reading, etc.) and then place baby in their sleep space before they close their eyes. “If they get upset, try some cribside soothing instead of immediately picking them up. Rubbing their heads, patting their bottoms, or simply shushing them can work for some babies,” she says.
Regan adds that you shouldn’t turn on any lights during this soothing process and recommends simply checking in on your baby after around 15 minutes if they still don’t seem to have begun self-soothing in any way.
Additionally, Greenleaf reminds parents not to rush in to pick up their baby if they begin to flail about, grunt, or whine a bit after they’ve started to sleep. “Newborns have ‘active’ and ‘quiet’ sleep. When a newborn is in active sleep it can seem as though they are waking up or even fully awake,” she says. This can even include seeing your baby’s eyes flutter open momentarily. “Many parents assume that their baby is now awake and it’s time to rush in, but in so many cases the parents are inadvertently interrupting their child’s active sleep!”
That said, most types of sleep training aren’t recommended until around 4-6 months of age, and how you go about it is up to you. Evidence shows that gentle sleep training methods work just as well as others, and overall, you’ll probably end up having to train more than once.
“The goal for ‘sleep training’ is to help babies and children learn to fall asleep independently,” says Greenleaf. “The sooner you can help get your baby into their sleep space awake and aware of their surroundings, the sooner you will achieve better sleep.”
