21 Things You’ll Think as a New Mom

Every new mom has been there. Once baby exits your body, your thoughts jump on a roller coaster of emotion, and suddenly you’re along for the ride. One minute, you’re gushing over your baby (“How did I ever live without this child!”), and the next minute you’re questioning your ability to care for this tiny human being and your sanity for taking on the task. As you ride through the ups and downs of the fourth trimester, here are some thoughts guaranteed to cross through your love-full and sleep-deprived mind.

photo: Suzanna Piowaty-Palmer

1. A tiny human being is solely dependent on me for life. Whoa.

2. Leggings are everything. And, coffee is life.

3. Should I check on my sleeping baby? Absolutely. (Repeat process again in five minutes.)

4. Thanks, person 46,308,723, for the unsolicited advice about how to raise my child…but, no thanks. Really, you can stop now.

photo: Christy Blevins Photography

5. During early attempts at swaddling: “I’m never going to nail this human straightjacket thing.” After a few tries: “I should put in an application to Chipotle because my swaddling skills are off the chain.” (Basically, babies equal burritos when swaddled.)

6. If you don’t love my kid’s name, you should have your own kid and name it.

7. I should have invested in diaper stock because my kid could single-handedly fill a landfill. Cloth diapers, here we come!

photo: Haylee Sherwood via Flickr

8. Will this baby ever. stop. crying. Will I? (Related: Normal hormone levels = #goals.)

9. My emotions are completely stable…psyche!

10. My body will never look the same. And that is a-okay. I just birthed a freaking human.

photo: Suzanna Piowaty-Palmer

11. I should sleep while the baby sleeps. But I should also stay awake and stare at him to make sure he’s breathing…and because he is the most precious and perfect human ever.

12. Speaking of sleeping, not sleeping is my superpower.

13. When I say I want to “Netflix ‘n’ chill,” I actually want to watch television. Six weeks is the minimum waiting period, right?

photo: Georgia Ruiz via Flickr

14. Showering once a week is my new self-care routine.

15. Thank you, random stranger, for calling my baby “boy” cute while she was wearing a pink heart onesie. Also, why are all strangers colorblind? 

16. If stretch marks are my battle scars, then spit-up is my war paint.

photo: Haylee Sherwood via Flickr

17. How can one baby have so. many. clothes?

18. Pacifiers are my best friend. 

19. That first baby smile makes every minute of this crazy mamahood thing worth it.

20. My baby is the cutest/best/smartest of all babies ever.

—Suzanna Palmer



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