Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week

This week in tweets, it’s all about learning how to Marie Kondo, prepping for all those Valentine’s Day cards and the general navigation of parenthood. As usual, our tribe of Twitter parents are keeping it real, and keeping us laughing.

Keep scrolling to see our fave tweets from this last week.

1. We can’t wait until you have kids of your own.

Friend without kids: At least after all that activity, your kids will be so exhausted they won’t fight bedtime.

Me: Bahahahahaha.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 21, 2019

2. Please and thank you.

I don't know who needs to see this, but have your kid start signing Valentine's Day cards now because that shit takes forever.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) January 21, 2019

3. ::sigh::

Me: I just wanna know if I’ll ever get to the point where I’ll feel like I know what I’m doing as a parent?

Magic 8-Ball: Outlook not so good
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 22, 2019

4. On Marie Kondo-ing with the kiddos:

"Ok, since you guys have no school today and it's too cold to do anything outside, we're going to organize your books &toys and get rid of anything you don't use anymore!"

– me, being the fun mom I always knew I would be
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) January 21, 2019

5. Pretty sure they’re in cahoots with makers of hot dogs and hot dog buns.

Sorry there are 26 kids in your daughter’s class and Valentines come in boxes of 24.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 23, 2019

6. When even their “inside voice” is still too loud.

No one makes more observations than a child sharing a stall with his mother inside a public restroom.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 22, 2019

7. Obvs.

One thing I underestimated about being a parent is just how responsible you become.

Like when my 9yo stubs his toe on a piece of furniture that has been in the same place for 2.5 years.

That’s my fault for putting it there. Obviously.
— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 23, 2019

8. So fun.

The end of your pregnancy is fun because it’s like, “Am I in labor or is this excruciating pain from standing up too fast?”
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) January 23, 2019

9. It’s no hot stone massage, that’s for sure.

My son was just driving Hot Wheels up and down my back, and honestly, that’s the closest thing to a massage I’ve had since becoming a parent.
— Accidental Super Mom (@AcciSuperMom) January 24, 2019

10. ::givesup::

Marie Kondo: Does this item spark joy?

Daughter: YES!

Marie Kondo: Oookay… um, this paper cup from 3 weeks ago?

Daughter: Yes! It’s my favorite!

Marie Kondo: *holding up a broken crayon* Does this item spark joy?

Daughter: Yes!

Marie Kondo: *in tears* This popped balloon?
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) January 23, 2019

––Karly Wood

Photo by Ryan McGuire via Gratisography; composite by Karly Wood for Red Tricycle

Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: Jan. 11, 2019

Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: Jan. 4, 2019

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Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: Jan. 25, 2019

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1. We can’t wait until you have kids of your own.

2. Please and thank you.

3. ::sigh::

4. On Marie Kondo-ing with the kiddos:

5. Pretty sure they’re in cahoots with makers of hot dogs and hot dog buns.

6. When even their “inside voice” is still too loud.

7. Obvs.

8. So fun.

9. It’s no hot stone massage, that’s for sure.

10. ::givesup::

Welcome to our Tinybeans family!

Trending Now

McDonald’s Halloween Happy Meal Buckets May Be Making a Comeback

‘Dead to Me’ Season 3 Finally Has a Release Date

Elementary School PTA Cracks Up Parents with Hilarious Car Line Signs

Kristen Bell Apologizes to Parents Everywhere for ‘Frozen’

Comedian Absolutely Nails the 5 Types of Parents at Drop Off

1. We can’t wait until you have kids of your own.

2. Please and thank you.

3. ::sigh::

4. On Marie Kondo-ing with the kiddos:

5. Pretty sure they’re in cahoots with makers of hot dogs and hot dog buns.

6. When even their “inside voice” is still too loud.

7. Obvs.

8. So fun.

9. It’s no hot stone massage, that’s for sure.

10. ::givesup::

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