Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week: May 10, 2019

Funny tweets, so you can have a funny weekend.

By Karly Wood May 9, 2019

Need a pick me up? As we roll into the final month of school you may find yourself limping through the final stretch. Never fear––funny tweets are here! Keep scrolling to see our roundup of hilarious parent battles and toddler musings that will have you chuckling into the weekend.

1. Moo haha!

No one is more shocked than my 5 year old who just tried to open the door to the bathroom, which I locked this time.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) May 6, 2019

2. Probably.

“I’ve tried everything and nothing works better in delaying bedtime than saying I’m hungry right before bed. She believes me every time.”

– my toddler, bragging to friends in preschool, probably
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 6, 2019

3. Lots of screaming and crying, TBH

Parenthood is a lot like Groundhog Day: the same routine day in & day out with varying degrees of screaming & crying.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 7, 2019

4. If these walls could talk.

Okay crew just stack the bricks as high as they go. Okay good now knock them over. Okay good now stack them up again.
Okay good now knock them over. Okay good now stack them up again…

-toddler construction foreman, probably
— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) May 7, 2019

5. How dare you.

https://twitter.com/MrGirlDad/status/1125897961676967943

6. 🙄🙄🙄

Motherhood :

When a turd rolls out of your CLEAN laundry pile.

😖🤦‍♀️🍷
— I Just Sat Down. (@anxiouscougar) May 7, 2019

7. Yep.

As a mom, my hobbies include ignoring the fact that I have to pee until my left eye is twitching, and chugging lukewarm coffee until I’m on the verge of a panic attack.
— MacgyveringMom22🍉 (@MacgyveringM22) May 8, 2019

8. AWAKE.

Welcome to parenthood. You're awake now. Just whenever.
Midnight: awake.
7 am: awake.
2 am: awake.
4:30am: awake.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) May 8, 2019

9. For REAL.

All research: more active play for children correlates to better learning outcomes across the board
Kindergarten: you have 12 minutes to eat and 13 minutes for recess and you will use all of that time trying to insert the straw in your juice box
— The Dad (@thedad) May 9, 2019

10. TRUTH.

*sends child to Mommy to get dressed*

Wife: You keep giving him to me and making him my problem!

Me: He’s our child. He’s everyone’s problem!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 9, 2019