Need a good laugh to get through the spooky season? These Halloween jokes will do the trick

You’ve got your doorway tricked out with decorations, Halloween-themed books on the shelf, and Halloween candy in order. Now it’s time for some good old-fashioned fun that isn’t too frightening. Halloween doesn’t have to be all about the scare: it’s a great time to yuk it up with silly jokes for kids. We’ve rounded up a list of sweet and funny Halloween jokes for kids that are sure to bring on jack-o’-lantern grins. Get ready to start laughing (and groaning) and feel free to head over to this post for some printable Halloween jokes. In the mood for some more giggles? Check out some special toddler jokes and extra squeaky-clean ones.

Click here to save this list to your Halloween board on Pinterest.

Monster Jokes Perfect for Halloween

1. What monster plays tricks on Halloween?


2. What kind of music do mummies love?

Wrap music.

3. What is a monster’s favorite dessert?

I scream!

(Thanks, Kaylen!)

4. What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?

A monster riding a tricycle!

5. Why does Frankenstein’s Monster always finish his dinner first?

Because he bolts it down.

6. What kind of car does a goblin take to go Trick or Treating? 

A monster truck.

7. Why did the zombie skip school?

He felt rotten.

8. What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat?

Brain food.

Vampire Jokes Perfect for Kids

9. What kind of tests do vampires give their students?

Blood tests.

10. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?

Frost bite!

11. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

—Rianna G., age 10

12. Why don’t vampires have more friends?

Because they are a pain in the neck.

13. What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?


14. What kind of dog does Dracula have?

A blood hound.

15. Where do vampires keep their money?

The blood bank.

16. How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern…

17. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite!

18. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

She starts coffin.

Ghost Jokes Perfect for Halloween

mom telling son in a ghost costume halloween jokes


19. How do ghosts wash their hair?

With shamboo.

20. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

21. What room does a ghost not need?

A living room.

22. What position does a ghost play in hockey?


23. What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?


24. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers!

25. What is a ghost’s nose full of?


26. Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

27. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?


—Elijah, age 11

Jokes About Witches Kids Will Love

28. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?


29. What does a witch use to do her hair?


30. What do you call two witches living together?


31. What do you call a witch who goes to the beach?

A sand-witch.

Related: 14 Halloween Minute to Win It Games for Kids

Skeleton Jokes for Kids

A skeleton and a pumpkin on a front stoop


32. What instrument does a skeleton play?

The trombone.

33. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?

His heart wasn’t in it.

34. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no “body” to dance with.

35. Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?

People are just dying to get in.

36. Why do skeletons stay so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

37. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

Because there was no body on the other side.

—Grandpa Jo, 54
38. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn’t have the guts.

—Londynn, 9

39. Why did the skeleton avoid going to see a horror movie? 

They didn’t have the stomach for it.

Related: 20 Halloween Party Ideas That Are a Scary Good Time

Halloween Jokes for Kids

jack o lanterns
David Menidrey on Unsplash


40. What does a pumpkin like to read?

Pulp fiction.

41. What happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?

Something dawns on you.

42. Why was there thunder and lightning inside the laboratory?

Because Dr. Frankenstein and Igor were brain “storming.”

43. Why did the headless horseman start his own business? 

He wanted to get ahead in life.

44. What fruit do scarecrows love the most?


45. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

A pumpkin patch.

46. When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

If you are a mouse.

47. What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy?

Trike or Treat!

48. What candy do you eat on the playground? 

Recess pieces.

49. What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick or Tweet!

50. Are black cats bad luck?

Only if you’re a mouse.

51. Why was the broom late?

It over swept.

52. What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs.

53. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

Time to get a new clock.



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