Just say No to the Homecoming Proposal Production

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Photo: Riala

Star light. Star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish you may. I wish you might. Be my date on Homecoming Night.

As if teenage guys don’t have enough on their plate, they must now come up with a cheesy proposal presentation to ask a girl to Homecoming (HOCO). He’d better not think of asking her to the dance without at least a decorated poster board in hand.

Why are our sons expected to put on a proposal production to ask someone to Homecoming today?

I have triplet boys. I have a husband. I have a father. I know a little something about men. I know males don’t come up with ideas like this on their own.

This means that mom most likely is assisting son with the plan. Or maybe the high schooler is scrolling through Pinterest for HOCO proposal ideas instead of doing his school work, which is strange. Or perhaps he’s recycling an idea from a friend who’s gone before him so that he can get the nonsense over with.

I have seen prom proposal productions in the past, but the shenanigans have now made their way into the Homecoming arena.

Do boys need to conjure up a rhyme and creatively display it on a poster to invite your daughter to a dance? 

Others take it to another level buying huge teddy bears, shoes, candy and the list goes on. I’m sure the bigger, the better.

That wouldn’t exactly be something my sons would authentically do. And me pushing them to participate, isn’t something I would authentically do, so sorry ladies.

What happened to just a good guy asking a sweet girl to the high school homecoming?

How come that’s no longer enough?

Why do we insist on turning what should be a simple invitation into a production?

Perhaps it’s working for some guys because hiding behind a poster board slogan that your Mom helped you write, is probably easier than actually having to invite a girl face to face using your own words.

And there wouldn’t be anything post-worthy for social media if there wasn’t a production. And we all know how much everyone loves a good photo for the feed.

The HOCO Proposal Production seems like another way to try and one up each other. I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around the concept and why we’re allowing this nonsense to be commonplace now.

My boys aren’t attention seekers, so I guess that they may never go to Homecoming with a date if they have to come up with a cutesy scheme to get a girl to say yes.

Do girls need this type of proposal from boys now? 

Our 8th-grade daughter said she thinks the idea is “cute.” I explained to her that it’s adorable when she and her girlfriends make posters for one another’s birthdays and bring them to middle school to celebrate. There is nothing cute about making a young man design a presentation to ask you to go to homecoming with him.

Let’s not put pressure on kids to have to put on a post-worthy show for what should be a simple invitation to a timeless high school event.

Let’s put our efforts into raising confident and kind young men and women who don’t need a show for social media to feel good about themselves and their lives.

No post-worthy production necessary.

Amy is the author of the book Parent on Purpose: A Courageous Approach to Raising Children in a Complicated World. Her work can be found at www.amycarney.com. She and her retired NHL playing husband, Keith, are raising 18-year-old triplet sons, a 16-year-old daughter, and a recently adopted 13-year-old son. 

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