IKEA’s redesigned classic blue FRAKTA tote is back! In honor of Pride Month, you can shop the limited edition STORSTOMMA Bag in two sizes.
The large bag ($2.99) is perfect for your IKEA shopping trips, while the smaller version ($.99) is great for everyday use. Even better, IKEA is donating 30% of all sales of the bags (and ENEBY rainbow speaker covers) to GLSEN, Inc., which works to ensure K-12 students have a safe place to learn, free from bullying and harassment.
Donations will come from all sales from Jun. 1 through 30, 2021, up to $50,000.
“LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue very close to our hearts and we want people of all sexual orientations and gender identities to feel at home – not just at IKEA, but everywhere,” said Samantha Giusti, Chief of Staff & LGBTQ+ Co-Worker Resource Group Co-Chair, IKEA Retail U.S.
Don’t wait to grab your STORSTOMMA bags, they’re limited edition! You can find them at your local IKEA or at IKEA.com.
If you have a tween or teen in your house, chances are they’re on TikTok. The popular video sharing platform had about 100 million active users as of last August, posting dance challenges, animal antics and more. Unfortunately it’s also a popular target for cyberbullying, but the company has recently announced new features to combat unkind interactions.
To delete several comments or block multiple accounts at once, go to the video you’ve created and long press on a comment or tap the pencil icon in the upper left corner to select a menu of options. The feature is rolling out gradually over the next few months to all content creators. The company also recently announced the option to filter all comments, so only approved comments will display with the video.
Beyond these features, TikTok recently partnered with the Cyberbullying Research Center to create a guide on bullying prevention. It lists how to identify bullying behavior, how teens can control their account to safeguard against unkindness and resources for standing up to bullying safely.
The platform continues to work to help users feel empowered with their experience on TikTok and make it a fun and welcoming experience for all. So the next time your teen pulls out their phone to post a video, make sure they’re aware of these new features. Safety first, trends second!
In short, I’d say it’s for awareness and education. To make it more common and comfortable for people to see others with differences whether it’s in appearance, speech or behaviors.
I guess because we are so immersed in autism 24/7, I forget sometimes that there are people who don’t know anyone personally with it and it may feel foreign and possibly uncomfortable.
That’s okay! I get it. Before we had Alex, I think I would probably feel uncomfortable if I was standing at a bus stop and someone started jumping and flapping and making unusual sounds. It’s different. But I would love it if this could be put out into the world so people are made aware of it so it’s not scary. People could just be like “Oh, ok maybe this person is different. Let me give them some space or smile at them or whatever.”
Anything new takes time to get used to and feel comfortable with.
What’s not okay is bullying or derogatory language. It still feels like a little gut punch when I hear people say the ‘R’ word. You can come up with any excuse you want, but the fact of the matter is that it is used as an insult. It’s never used to describe something amazing. My Alex also has a diagnosis of intellectual disability and knowing that the ‘R’ word is often used to describe people like my son makes it sting even more.
This is why representation matters.
TV, media, us just being out and about in the community. Not just Alex and our family, but all the families who live with autism.
I feel there needs to be more representation of our kind of autism. We need to put faces to the word for there to be a human connection. People need to teach their kids to be accepting and be kind to people who are different.
The reason I’m writing this right now is that even though it’s 2021, I still see and hear stories of abuse and mistreatment.
Can I tell you how much preparation (both physically and emotionally) and courage it takes for some of us to just take our kids out of the house because we know the stares and judgment we’ll get just for being different? I can tell you how much it would mean to me as a mom, if someone would just show me a little smile, like “Hey, I see you. You’re not invisible. Welcome.” It would melt my heart, I tell ya. That’s all we want. Humanity.
Through our page, I hope that people will see Alex, first and foremost, as a human being who, despite his differences and challenges, also has gifts and a smile that’ll warm your heart, and that he deserves to be treated with the same respect and kindness that everyone deserves. If you feel brave to say “Hi” and he doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. He can’t always speak, but he hears you and so do I, and it means so much that you tried.
If you see someone out who is having a meltdown, stimming physically or verbally, not responding? Don’t judge. Don’t insult. Don’t hurt or take advantage of. Remember: Different, not less. Just. Be. Kind. I promise you, it feels so much better than the alternative.
Remember, these people are someone’s child, brother, sister, auntie, uncle. They are a person with feelings and emotions just like you. Treat others how you would want yourself and your own kids to be treated.
Hi! My name is Laura and I'm a mom of two beautiful kids in Vancouver, Canada. I write a blog on Facebook called The Autism Ride, all about the ups and downs in life with our teenaged son on the spectrum.
There’s a difference between tattling and reporting. When kids understand the difference, they are more likely to report unsafe situations and real trouble.
Definitions: Snitching & Tattling vs. Reporting
Snitching or Tattling: Telling on someone to get that person in trouble.
Reporting: Telling a trusted adult to get help. Focused on keeping yourself and others safe.
The Difference Between Tattling & Reporting
In early elementary school, snitching or tattling is common as kids learn to navigate rules and social dynamics. In these situations, the “snitcher” is usually trying to get someone in trouble, control another, or avoid blame. Often, no one is in danger of being physically hurt, and the situation could be solved without adult intervention with some conflict resolution skills.
By middle school, snitching has become socially unacceptable. Because of this stigma, older students may be afraid to report real trouble. Fear of being seen as a snitch peaks just as dangerous and inappropriate behaviors (bullying, sexual harassment, and threats of violence) are on the rise.
When Kids Understand the Difference, Schools are Safer
When kids understand the difference between snitching and reporting it helps them feel safe to report. This requires regular discussions at home and at school about what types of situations need to be reported. It’s also important to have a safe, confidential way for students to share, like Safe2Tell.org. This service allows students, families, and community members to report concerns or threats anonymously.
In today’s world, all of us need to look out for each other. These efforts go a long way in helping our kids feel safe as well.
Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.
Many schools have done a great job raising awareness about bullying. Bullying is never okay and needs to be addressed immediately. With this heightened awareness, kids may have a hard time differentiating between bullying and mean behavior. Here are some definitions to help.
Mean versus Bullying Behavior
Mean behavior is saying or doing something to hurt a person.
Bullying is a cruel act done on purpose and repeatedly that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power.
Quick Quiz: Is it Mean or Bullying?
1. JD tells Marco that he can’t play basketball at recess because he’s the worst player in the whole grade. Mean or bullying?
Answer: It appears that JD is being mean. His words are intended to hurt Marco, but there’s no evidence of repetitive behavior or a power imbalance.
2. Molly makes fun of Piper for wearing the same pants to school every day. In gym class, Molly says Piper smells and later, she writes the words “You stink” on her desk. Mean or bullying?
Answer: Molly’s acting like a bully. She’s making fun of Piper repeatedly with the intention to cause harm. There’s also evidence of a power imbalance.
Context is important to understand meanness versus bullying. When it comes to mean behavior, there is often an underlying conflict between those involved. Regardless, both behaviors are not okay and can be painful for kids as well as parents. So how do parents respond to best support their kids?
Responding to Mean Behavior
Dealing with mean behavior is a part of life that we all learn how to handle. With guidance and support, kids develop skills to deal with meanness, such as speaking up, learning resilience, getting help, and putting energy into kind friendships instead.
Signe Whitson, author and national educator on bullying, has seen a rise in situations of mean or rude behavior incorrectly classified as bullying. She says, “I have already begun to see that gratuitous references to bullying are creating a bit of a “little boy who cried wolf” phenomena. In other words, if kids and parents improperly classify rudeness and mean behavior as bullying—whether to simply make conversation or to bring attention to their short-term discomfort—we all run the risk of becoming so sick and tired of hearing the word that this actual life-and-death issue among young people loses its urgency as quickly as it rose to prominence.”
Responding to Bullying Behavior
Bullying, on the other hand, is a different matter and needs to be addressed. Experts agree that bullying entails three key elements: an intent to harm, a power imbalance, and repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior. Bullies try to have more social or physical power over their targets. They try to make their targets cry, feel scared or lose their temper. And bullying has lasting negative effects.
Even though it may be hard, encourage kids not to give bullies their power. Help them practice standing tall and pretending to be bored or unimpressed. Then walk away and get help from a trusted adult.
Kids develop healthy social and emotional skills at different stages, so unkind behavior is unfortunately common. These painful moments provide families an opportunity to revisit conversations about meanness and bullying and how to navigate situations. They also offer parents an opportunity to make sure their kids feel loved, heard and help them navigate uncomfortable emotions. If your child is feeling overwhelmed by mean or bullying behavior, be sure to get support from the school or a professional as well.
Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.
If Snapchat filters, Instagram followers, boomerang pics, the perfect photo, tweets, and Facebook ‘likes’ seem to consume your teen’s life, it is no surprise. Social media use is currently the most common activity enjoyed by children and teenagers. Over 75 percent of children own a cellular phone, and the majority use it to access social media platforms several times each day. With such a broad reach and widespread popularity among our youth, it’s important that parents understand that while mostly fun and games there can be negative consequences of excessive social media use.
Does the following sound familiar?
Lately you’ve noticed that your child appears aloof, irritable, and withdrawn. He prefers to be left alone in his room spending time on Instagram and Snapchat. Though he is restricted from screen time after bedtime, he has had several nights of breaking this rule and staying up late to check his social media feeds. As his parent, you’ve established rules regarding social media use including having access to his social media platforms usernames and passwords. You’ve come to learn, that he has a fake Instagram (i.e. a “Finstagram”) account and has experienced bullying due to some recent posts.
Or this?
Your teen has been unusually irritable. She’s having trouble sleeping and is spending more time alone. She’d rather sit in her room and swipe and post on her social media feeds than spend time with her family or even go out with friends. She appears overly concerned with her physical appearance and getting the “perfect look” for pictures. Once cheerful and self-assured, she has lately become self-doubting and withdrawn.
At first glance, we might think that behaviors and mood symptoms such as these can be chalked up to a teenage funk or a child hitting a rough patch. Another possible cause? Social media depression. Social media depression refers to a clinical depression that results from the intensity, pressure, and eventual isolation stemming from social media use. And unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly common among kids and teens.
Social media depression is not recognized as a formal diagnosis among health care professionals. Yet, there is a growing body of research that shows an association between social media use and clinical depression, especially among youth and young adults—thus the term “social media depression.”
How do you know if your youth is struggling with a clinical depression and this is more than a moody teenager? If you notice that your child has several of the following symptoms over a two week period or more, then you should be concerned about clinical depression: depressed mood (most of the day and nearly every day), changes in sleep pattern (sleeping too much or too little), loss of energy nearly every day, poor concentration, an inability to experience pleasure in activities that your child previously enjoyed, increased time alone and reduced time with friends, or even talk of death or suicide.
Social media may be an underlying cause if your youth has an excessive amount of interest and time spent on YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and Facebook. Take heed if you notice the following behaviors and telling signs: spending considerable amounts of time on social media at the expense of real friendships and family time, a hyper-focus on physical appearance because of a posting the “perfect” picture, and excessive comparisons of themselves to friends.
If you suspect that your child is suffering from clinical depression, that’s your cue to take the next step. Get professional help—the sooner, the better. We’ve seen that early intervention can make a great difference.
Written by Dr. Carlin Barnes and Dr. Marketa Wills.
Through her vibrant picture books, illustrated by her brother Zeka Cintra,Isabel strives to introduce kids to a world where diversity is valuable and beautiful. Fantasy, representativeness and diversity are common themes in her editorial production. She currently resides in Stockholm, Sweden with her husband and daughters.
Like many others before me, I became a mom not fully grasping the responsibility I was accepting. I knew I would be a loving parent, but I didn’t know that that would only entail half of it.
Next week will mark 3 years since my 7-day-old baby passed on, with tomorrow being his birthday. His life and death taught me more than all the other years of parenting my surviving children could possibly have given me.
After my son was diagnosed at 14 weeks in utero with congenital heart defects, I lived in a state of permanent panic. I worked, I cooked, I homeschooled my daughter, I went out, but the taste of fear was a constant in my throat, choking me.
The worst thing any expecting parent could have imagined came to pass with a 9 p.m. phone call telling me that my baby in the NICU was in distress. We raced over there immediately, but 45 minutes of trying to resuscitate him were all for naught.
Losing my last born son has not made me coddle my remaining two children. Surprisingly, it has given me more confidence as a mother. I know what it’s like to lose a child, and I no longer fear death.
My daughter started high school last year and my son graduates at the end of 2021 with hopes of pursuing a rather dangerous career of being a game ranger. And I am no longer the helicopter parent I once was.
When the worst imaginable thing has already happened, you realize quickly that nothing is in your control. And this leads to an inevitable shift in parenting styles—at least it did for me!
Whereas before, I parented from a place of fear, worrying about bullying and hypothetical scenarios, overthinking all the things that could go wrong, and the amount of emotional trauma that children can be exposed to, now I don’t.
I still have moments of anxiety where I worry if my child made it safely through the school gates, but it’s no longer the type that causes paranoia or takes me to the school an hour early or makes me call the principal to check.
When parenting from a place of love, you see your children as separate, autonomous beings. They may lack maturity and experience, but they’re still whole human beings, not pieces of yourself. You can love them enough to let go.
And I know what you’re going to say, having children is like watching your heart walk around outside your body. Yes. Totally. But one of my external hearts has already left the building and I don’t want to smother the two that are left.
So here I am, parenting from a place of love, allowing them to grow into their own people with new dreams, hopes, and ambitions—stuff they didn’t get from us—and I refuse to be afraid anymore.
Razia Meer is a Managing Editor at women's magazine, AmoMama, and a mother of two teens and an angel baby. With a passion for homeschooling and building wells in African countries; when she is not educating, fundraising, or editing, she writes about cryptocurrencies, families, and canines - not in that order!
Arden Pala is like most kids his age. The 11-year-old attends hybrid learning and wants to be a movie director when he grows up.
As a Turkish-American, he’s also experienced bullying. Deciding to turn his experience into a positive, he set out to write a book to help kids learn about other cultures and celebrate them––and three years later he’s on the third book of his series.
Red Tricycle sat down with Pala to talk about his new book, The Adventures of Noah’s Flying Car: Through Mexico ($7.85), and give us all the deets on his extraordinary vision for helping kids learn about the world and cultures around them.
photo: Courtesy of the Arden Pala Family
When asked about the main reason Pala decided to write his books he explained that he wanted to make a fun way to learn about countries, to “show diversity and that it’s ok to be different.”
In the newest book of the Adventures of Noah series, our main character is off to discover the bejeweled country of Mexico. Together, Noah and his friends Scotty and Kaden experience dolphins in Baja California, a butterfly biosphere and much more.
photo: Amazon
Pala admits his favorite part about his newest book is the butterflies, due to the amazing job of illustrator Pavel Goldaev. When asked about what he enjoys most about writing, he shares that putting his thoughts into a document and finding a place to write about really motivates him to put together a great story.
And he’s not done yet. Most likely, the young writer will take the summer to formulate a new tale as he’s done in years past.
When it comes to encouraging other young writers, Pala has this advice: don’t rush, put together a good story board, have a good theme and make sure your story is something you want to write about.
All proceeds from The Adventures of Noah’s Flying Car: Through Mexico go to the San Diego Community Covid-19 Response Fund, which supports low-income workers, families and those deeply affected by the pandemic.
Researchers from the University of South Australia recently published a new paper linking sleep to the developing teen’s mental health—even though this factor is often overlooked.
Between SnapChat, IG, TikTok and everything else that keeps your teen awake at night, it’s easy to see why adolescents don’t get as much sleep as they should. University of South Australia sleep experts Dr. Alex Agostini and Dr. Stephanie Centofanti looked at how sleep (or lack of it) affects the teen’s behavior and overall mental health, including the likelihood of developing anxiety and depression or engaging in risky activities.
According to Dr. Agostini, “Getting enough sleep is important for all of us—it helps our physical and mental health, boosts our immunity, and ensures we can function well on a daily basis.” Agostini continued, “But for teenagers, sleep is especially critical because they’re at an age where they’re going through a whole range of physical, social, and developmental changes, all of which depend on enough sleep.”
The sleep researcher also added, “Research shows that teenagers need at least eight hours of sleep each night. Without this, they’re less able to deal with stressors, such as bullying or social pressures, and run the risk of developing behavioral problems, as well as anxiety and depression.”
Agostini also noted, “If sleep drops to less than six hours a night, research shows that teens are twice as likely to engage in risky behaviours such as dangerous driving, marijuana, alcohol or tobacco use, risky sexual behaviour, and other aggressive or harmful activities.”
When it comes to factors that contribute to sleep loss, Dr. Centofanti said, “Teens spend a lot of time on devices, whether it’s texting friends, playing games, or watching videos, using technology late into the night is one of the most common disruptors of good sleep. Overuse of technology can also contribute to mental health issues likely to increase anxiety.” Centofanti continued, “To make a real difference to teenage mental health, both parents and medical practitioners must understand how sleep can affect mental health in teenagers.”
I get it. Virtual learning is hard. And if we’re honest, it just plain sucks. From trying to get each kid to their meets on time, having them do their learning videos, and let’s face it, technology issues are a mega pain in the butt. And if your kids are like mine, they’re trying to kill each other. All. Damn. Day.
We have four kids, kindergarten to eighth grade. Each one has been handling virtual school in their own way. Some days are okay, and others are horrendous with much yelling and slamming of doors. We talk to them about how it’s okay to be mad, depressed, or any other feeling they’re having. These feelings are normal, and almost everyone is feeling something similar. But it comes down to how we handle these feelings. Children will face situations that are hard to deal with their entire lives. Parents must help children constructively manage these emotions.
We have explained why they are virtually learning on their level. We have done our best to remain positive, so they, in turn, are also. Children will mimic the behavior they see. If all a parent does is vent about virtual learning, complain about how teachers aren’t doing their jobs, then their children will do the same.
No matter what you believe about the severity of this virus: bullying our teachers is never okay!
Parents are children’s first teachers, but that doesn’t end once they reach school age. This isn’t like a tag team wrestling match where you tag the teacher and you’re done and sit idly by. Instead, a parent works with the teacher, enhancing what they learn in school. Plus, a parent teaches what children don’t always learn in school.
I agree that children learn better in the school environment, with teachers who are trained to teach. Where they get to see their friends, run around at recess, and chat during lunch break. They learn more than just academics in school.
It’s okay to be mad about the state of the world right now. It’s okay to have pandemic fatigue. But belittling and bullying teachers and school boards is not okay.
Every teacher I know, is working harder and more hours than they ever have before. They spend the entire school day meeting with students. Then in the evenings and on weekends, they are recording lesson videos and grading assignments. Not to mention helping their own children throughout the day.
These teachers would rather be in their classrooms, teaching how they do best. They are stretched to their limits and beyond. Yet, they continue to teach because it is who they are.
Protest upon protest has been held outside administration buildings, trying to get the board to change to in-person schooling. Parents start social media groups with the intent of gathering numbers to force these changes. These groups have been verbally brutal, and my heart goes out to every teacher and school board member.
I know school boards are not perfect. There are areas where they fail. But these people are human with the weight of an entire district on their shoulders.
Think about the mental toll that they have to live with every day. Maybe, if you look deep enough, you will understand this and give them a little compassion. They are not the enemy. This virus is.
But, like everyone else right now, they are doing their best. The board is responsible for thousands of children’s and staff’s physical and mental health. They know any option they decide on will not make everyone happy. They don’t take these decisions lightly. They pour over CDC guidelines, numbers of positive results week after week, and space available in buildings.
Parents need to look at the situation realistically.
The thing is, many schools are overcrowded. When eighty percent of families say they want in-person school, it is impossible to have students social distance.
There is a shortage of substitute teachers. What happens then when a teacher is sick? In the past, if there wasn’t a sub available, kids simply joined another class. That is not an option this year.
We all know children are mega germ farms. Colds, stomach flu, and influenza sweep through classrooms with lightning speed, kids dropping left and right. They bring the germs home to their siblings, parents, and everyone else they come into contact with. So what makes anyone think that COVID will be different?
As parents, how we handle situations out of our control will significantly impact how our children will do the same. If we complain frequently, say bad things about others, and belittle everyone who disagrees, our children will do the same.
Everyone is doing the best they can, including school board members and teachers. Let’s try to remember that in the new year and show them some compassion.
BA Eubank is a wife and mom of five kids. She's been through all the stages from colicky baby to one leaving the nest. She squeezes writing in between playing referee and asking the dog what's in his mouth.
